We Are So Screwed
by teroinreadsteroinwrites
Summary: Stupid fic, where two completely over exaggerated characters end up in a Michael Bay movie.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Rated M for a lot of fucking swearing and violence and sexual references.**

 **This is not some revolutionary attempt to change the state of fanfiction. It is a stupid silly fic that my best friend and I wrote, because it amuses us. Some people might enjoy it. Others may not. If you don't that's fine, but do not flame me. You have already been warned that it is a mess. I only even bothered to post it, because there are some people who may find some kind of simple entertainment in it. Now, before you begin some things you should know.**

 **1.)** I have tried posting this on here before, but some people fail to realize that this is in no way meant to be taken seriously. Even the drama is stupid. That being said don't tell me about how no one would behave like this in real life. No shit.

 **2.)** I do not fucking swear too much. You are just a fucking pussy. I don't throw in all the swearing for effect or anything. It's legitimately how I talk. I have to work to write and swear less. **If you don't like, then don't read it**. Don't bitch to me about it, because I don't give a shit.

 **3.)** It's OC centric. If you're going to make the OC a background character, then why add them at all or why even bother describing the OC part to begin with. Focus is on the oc's, who are intentially ridiculous and overly exaggerated. Again **IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT, DO NOT READ**.

4.) I don't own shit save for the oc's. All copyrights and trademarks go to their respective owners.

5.) **IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT DO NOT READ IT!** Or tell me about it for that matter. Under normal circumstances, I will happily take criticism, but really you wanna bitch about something that I have warned you from the very beginning is simply an obnoxious story meant to entertain my friends and contains

* * *

 **Blake's Point of View**

Patience was not one of my strong suits. It never had been. It of course didn't help that I was loaded and with the swipe of a card, my signature on a check or a simple exchange of cash I could have whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

Of course that didn't apply in this situation. I couldn't pay my best friend to hurry the hell up so that we could leave. Even if she wasn't just as rich as me, the very notion would only serve to insult her, and she'd take longer out of spite.

"Dude, let's fucking go!" I screamed up the stairs.

Slater, who could usually go from lounging in her pajamas to being ready for one of the many charity galas we attended in fifteen minutes had been up in her room getting ready for the past forty five minutes, and we were only going to the damn movie theater.

"Bitch, wait a minute!" she screamed back. A second later, she came running down the stairs. "Where are my DCs?"

"Which ones?"

"My blue ones."

I groaned. "You've got like ten fucking pairs of blue ones!"

"With the black-"

"Just put on some fucking shoes. We're only going to the movies."

She just gave me an incredulous look. "I've seen you spend an hour to go to the damn grocery store."

"That's different. I couldn't find my wallet."

"No. Your wallet was missing for about five minutes. The wings of your eyeliner weren't even and we couldn't leave until they were."

"Whatever. I was ready today. Now can you shut the fuck up or at least if you're gonna keep bitch put someday shoes on and start walking?"

She stepped into her shows and followed me out to my car.

"I hate this damn thing," Slater muttered.

"Get over it. You wanna drive the Ferrari, then drive your-damn-self."

"I'm just saying my car is pretty fucking boss. It's a shame it just sits in the garage."

"You act like you never drive it anywhere. You drove it to the shop yesterday."

' _And people say I'm the dramatic one._ '

"To the shop and back. What fun us that?"

"Go somewhere else. I don't know what to tell you. My Bugatti doesn't go anywhere other than from track to garage, but you don't hear me bitching."

I was just happy to have it. There were no words that could even begin to describe my love for that car. The engineering behind it was genius, and the results were spectacular. If I could marry a car it would be that one or maybe a Lamborghini Reventón.

How did Slater and I afford such expensive shit? Simple we were heiresses to the largest and most successful chain of hotels and resorts in the world. Our grandfathers had been best friends and together bought their first hotel in New Hampshire. From there it grew and when they retired their sons, who like Slater and I had grown up together and were practically siblings, took over.

"Just drive."

It didn't take long for us to end up at the theater. (A normal one. We blew money on cars and homes, not private movie screenings and popcorn flown in from another state.) We got our popcorn, candy and beverages, and found a pair of seats in the back. It was a matinee so there weren't very many people.A short drive later we were at the theater. We walked in got our food and sat down in the very back.

"This is gonna be fucking amazing," I said excitedly, sliding the ugly 3D glasses on my face.

I loved all things Transformers, the comics, cartoons, the movies, everything. I had since I was little. Electronics and mechanics were pretty much the center of my universe, taking things apart, putting them back together, the lot of it, so sentient robots that turned into cars, well I was just enamored.

 _Transformers Dark of the Moon_ was like the other two, a combination of "Holy fuck! tThat was awesome!" and "What the fuck? That was bull shit."

When we were walking out of the theater it was all could do not to spit and sputter over my words as I described the movie and compared it to the original franchise.

We got in my Nissan and started the trek home. I had calmed down considerably at the half way point. We were only about ten minutes way from out house, when we reached an intersection. There was the screeching of tires and a loud crash, and then nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Blake's Point of View**

"For the last time, I have no clue what you're talking about," I said. I slammed my head back into the pillow of my hospital bed. I was tired and sore too much of both to freak out like I wanted too.

I tried to be respectful to the idiots that had been asking me the same questions for the past hour and I was for about the first fifteen minutes. Then the questions began to cycle and my pain meds wore off, and respect went out the window.

I just wanted to be doped up and go back to sleep. I had three cracked ribs, was mildly concussed, and had a cut that stretched from my forehead the entire way down to my collar bone. It barely missed the piercing there.

"Where's Slater?" I asked again. Just like with my previous attempts to get an answer, I got a glare in response. "Can I at least know where I am?"

"That's not something you need to be concerned about," the idiot said.

"Why don't you just go ahead and put the poison in my IV? Will that help you out? Am I going to magically disappear? Are you gonna torture me to find out information that I DON'T FUCKING KNOW?!"

"Miss, I've already explained. It's a matter of national security. We need to know what you were talking about, when you first arrived at the hospital."

"I don't remember. All I remember is the screech and the fucking crash. Up until you came in here, I didn't even know that I was awake, when they wheeled me in here."

He eyed me skeptically. "And you're sure that's all you remember?"

"I was coming home from the movies and was hit. I don't remember anything else." If I could manage to roll over I would've just so I coul smother myself with my pillow to get the hell away from this idiot.

"What movie did you go to see?"

"What the fuck does it matter?" I snapped.

"What movie did you go to see?" he repeated

"Deep Throat."

"I need you to be serious."

"I am serious. Linda Lovelace was a babe."

"WIf you're not going to take this seriously, I'm going to have to charge you for-"

"For the love of fuck, I already told you what I saw. Why the hell must I answer again, and can I get some damn pain killers. I'm not gonna be able to answer jack shit, if I pass out because of the pain."

"What did you and your friend go and see."

"Transformers Dark of the Moon."

"What's it about?"

"It's about Transformers, you shit fuck! You know the comics and the cartoon and all of the fucking toys by Hasbro. They made three of the god damned things, and they were all box office hits!"

"I'm gonna have to have a talk with my superiors," he said. He got up and left the room.

"I'm so over this shit." I said, rubbing my temples.

"Blake Renee DeVille…" another guy said looking at a file and walking into the room.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked.

He turned around and I could see his face. "I'm Tom-"

"Banachek," I finished.

"How do you know my name?" He asked.

"You look familiar. Are you related to a Joe Banachek?"

I was trying really hard to play it off. I was actually just commenting on how much he looked like Banachek from the first film.

"Miss, you don't seem to understand that you are in way over your head here. There are things that you will never be able to comprehend. If you don't tell us what we need to know, things could turn very bad for you."

"What did I say, when I came in?"

"You said 'This NBE-1 mess is bull shit. He has a name. It's Megatron.' Do you want to tell me what that means?"

"It's my reaction to something from part of a movie."

"And what is this movie about?"

"It's about two factions of an alien race. One w-"

"Banachek!"

I looked over at the door. In walked a guy who looked exactly like Simmons.

"Simmons?" Banachek asked.

"We have to let her go," he said bitterly.

"What?"

"I don't know her Blondie Blonde friend in there just got into an argument with me, like a damn lawyer. I felt like I was on trial in there. We have to let her go."

"But how-"

"I don't know."

"Does this mean that I can leave?" I asked.

"It means we're taking you back." Simmons said.

"Taking me back? Where the fuck did you take me from?"

"It's-"

"A matter of national security, I know. I FUCKING KNOW!" Frustrated didn't even begin to cover it.

"Oh great, we have a blonde, who is smarter than she looks, but her red head friend you stereotypical hot head," he grumbled.

"Fuck you!" I snapped.

"Someone get a nurse in here!" he called out the door.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked.

"Oh shut it, Heat Miser."

"My name is Blake. I suggest you use it."

"Or what, you're gonna have the blonde sue me?"

"No, I'll kick your teeth down your fucking throat," I said calmly. A nurse walked in.

"Knock her out," he instructed her.

She slipped something in my IV. A few moments later, darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Slater's Point of View**

"I'm sorry... officer...? But I don't remember anything after the impact. Like I said before; we were driving home from the movies when-"

"What movie?"

"We've already been over this. Transformers: Dark of the-"

"And what is this 'Transformers' movie about?"

"Well I would tell you if you would kindly stop talking and let me finish a fucking statement," I said with a slightly irritated smirk.

"Miss, I don't have time for this. Please just tell me what your friend..." He looked down at a file in his hand before continuing. "Blake said after the crash."

"I've already told you; I don't fucking know! All I remember is the crash, Blake getting knocked out by the frame of the driver side door, and slamming my shoulder into the windshield, yes I was wearing a seat belt, it snapped. Then-" He tried to interrupt, but I blatantly ignored him and continued with my recount of the crash. "-smacking my nose off of the windshield and everything went black. I wake up here, and you're standing over me asking questions I don't know the answer to."

He sighed and walked out. Then I heard, "Simmons! Get in there! Talk some sense into Blondie!"

I cocked my head to the side and thought about it for a second. ' Hm, the first guy who questioned me looked a lot like Tom Banachek from the movie, now they're sending someone named 'Simmons' in... Coincidence?' I thought about my situation as voices argued outside of my door.

An agent walked in, "Miss, Hunt, is it?"

"That depends, who the fuck wants to know?" Usually I'm more professional and or business-like when talking to authority figures, the three months of law school I actually attended helped with that, but this shit was getting old.

"I'll take that as a yes," he replied. "So my colleague tells me you're being difficult, says you won't talk. Well your friend spilled everything, so go ahead; tell me what happened." He smirked, looking proud of himself.

"Hmm, she told you everything?"

He nodded.

"Every single thing that happened?"

He nodded again.

"Hm, well that's rather interesting because the main point of impact occurred to her left, and I do remember her being knocked out by the frame of the car, shortly before I was knocked out from slamming the bridge of my nose off of the windshield."

"You didn't tell my coll-"

"Actually, I did, he started talking over me and must not have heard me," I cut him off.

"Anyway, I would love to leave, and I would love to take my friend with me. We did nothing wrong, we were in our lane, going the limit, and the light was green, whoever hit us is at fault and you have no legal right to keep us here. And don't bother saying that it's a 'matter of national security' because you have no proof that we saw or heard anything out of the ordinary."

He held a hand up. "Now stop right there, I suggest you learn some manners Blondie."

I held my right hand up, the one that wasn't in a sling. "And I suggest you learn some manners Mr. Simmons, I have a name, I urge you to use it in the future, and now I suggest that you get a nurse or someone who has the power to release us to do exactly that,release us. If you don't, I promise you that I will sue your ass so hard your balls will retract into your abdomen, your mom will kick you out of her basement and an orangutan with dyslexia will be putting its misspelled name tag on your office door."

"How did you know I lived in my mom's... Never mind." He shook his head and walked out, sending a nurse in to unhook my from my monitors.

'Simmons looks and acts exactly like the Simmons from the movie... And he lives with his mother. This shit is weird... I wonder what's going on with Blake.'


	4. Chapter 4

**Slater's Point of View**

The nurse finished unhooking me and told me that I had some visitors, who brought me clothes to change into.

I was waiting for the circus that was my family to come into my room, so I was expecting my bitch ass mom, snobby ass sister, and bomb ass dad to come in, and still, I was less than pleasantly surprised when Simmons walked in first.

"What do you want?" I snapped at him.

"Woah woah, cool it Blondie, I just have a few questions before your family comes in; nice people by the way."

I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow at that one.

"I referred to you as Blondie and your mom said something about that being your real name, and-"

At the mention of my real name, all curiosity about what he had to say went out of the window, and he was about to follow. The look on my face must have showed it too, because he put his hands up and said, "Woah, stop with the death glare kid! Like I said, just got a few questions."

"The hell do you want shitfuck?"

"No need for name calling Blondie, manners, they're good to have. Anyway, before you seeB, as you referred to her, you need to tell me what she said after the crash."

He looked at me expectantly, and what he got was definitely unexpected. I sucked in a deep breath, before screaming, "YOU MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCKING DOUCHE BAG! SHE GOT KNOCKED OUT BEFORE I DID AND WE WOKE UP SEPARATE FUCKING ROOMS! THE HELL SHOULD I FUCKING KNOW WHAT CAME OUT OF HER GOD DAMNED MOUTH? FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME; I. DO. NOT. FUCKING. KNOW. WHAT. BLAKE. SAID! GO ASK THE FUCKING NURSE OR SOME SHIT WHO WAS WITH HER! ALL I WANT TO DO IS HUG MY DAD, PUT ON SOME FUCKING CLOTHES, GET B, AND LEAVE THIS HELL HOLE!"

"Well damn Blondie, I thought Red was a hot head. I'll send your parents in, but this isn't over."

He walked out, and I heard my mother's fake ass sigh of relief as she walked into my room.

"Blondie, dear! how are you?" she cooed as she walked up to my bed and awkwardly hugged me.

"I'm fine, and wow, those are new!" I said, pointing to her chest. I earned myself a smack upside the head, but it was so fucking worth it.

I looked over at my dad, who was in the doorway, trying not to laugh. He gave me a thumbs up and winked at me. "Cost me thirty two grand," he mouthed. I pouted for show and looked back at my mother, who was being joined by my sister, Barbra.

"Robert! Are you going to let her speak to me like that?" I'll give her credit, if this were theGrammy Awards, she'd surely win an award-for worst act. My dad looked at me sternly, but I could see the laughter in his eyes.

"Now Slater," my dad emphasized my legal name, "that wasn't very called for. Apologize to your mother." He gave me a disappointed look, but I knew it was all for show. After all, he is the one who urged me to drop out of law school, if it wasn't what I wanted to do.

"Mom, I'm sorry, that wasn't very nice of me, especially since you drove all the way out here to come see me." I pouted and hung my head, trying not to die of laughter.

She accepted my apology and now the awkward family meeting included my snobby ass I'm-better-than-you-because-I-actually-finished-my-schooling sister, who just hugged me and said something about how if I were finishing school I wouldn't have been in an accident.

After about five minutes of tense silence, my dad handed me a bag and said he packed me one of my favorite 'lazy outfits' as he called them, and a juice box. "Thank you daddy!" I hugged him and pushed the call button so a nurse would come verify that I was allowed out of bed. The same nurse from before came in, watched as I stood, escorted me to the bathroom, and waited until I was out and dressed before telling me that I could go see Blake.

I called a "Thank you!" from my room as the nurse left and turned to my parents.

"Barbra, take your bitch ass politician ass the fuck up out my room. Mom, get your fake ass tits up out my room, wait, don't get them up any higher; you'll suffocate. No wait, in that case, get your tits up further." They stormed out past me and my dad walked up to me.

"That wasn't very nice."

"Uh, you let her name me Blondie, that wasn't nice!" I retorted.

"Hey! I let you change your name to 'Slater' and I dealt with her ass afterwards!"

"Yeah yeah, details."

"Bye kiddo."

"Bye Daddy. Love you"

We hugged and he left, then I gathered my stuff and headed over to Blake's room.

"Hi Mrs. and Mr. DeVille, any word on B's condition?" I asked as I walked into her room and sat down in a chair next to her bed, across from her parents.

"None yet," said Mrs. DeVile.

"That blows." I sat back, sipped my juice, and chatted with Blake's parents about dropping out of school to become a tattoo artist, and how the house with B was working out, after about twenty minutes of awkward silence I fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Blake's Point of View**

I woke up and saw my parents sitting awkwardly in the corner of the room. Standing in front of the door were Simmons and Banachek. Slater was slouching in her chair, glaring at the two dickheads.

"Ah holy fuck I hurt," I said. Slater turned her head to look at me, cracking her neck.

"Bout damn time you woke up," she said.

"Oh my baby!" my mother screamed. She got up and ran as fast as her six inch stilettos would carry her to me. She ran a hand through my hair. "How are you feeling? That was a stupid question. Look at your face! That scar is going to be huge. I promise as soon as you're well enough, I'll take you to see . Then we can go shopping and if you want we can take that car of yours to the track. I'll even buy you more of those hideous shoes you like so much. The-"

"Mother, you're smothering me," I said.

"Carrie, she's concussed and has a few broken bones. She's not terminally ill," my dad said.

"Thank you, Dad."

"Carrie what you're doing isn't a hug it's a motor boat," Slater said, just as I was about to.

"Ma, get your tits out of my face."

"I already lost one baby, I'm not losing another," she blubbered.

I stiffened. She let me go, having realized her slip up.

Slater walked over and leaned down to hug me, which was weird, because she knew how much I actually hated hugging people. "Don't tell them shit," she said.

"Get off," I replied, giving her a slight nod to how her my agreement.

I tried to act like everything was okay, but my mother's statement had thrown me off.

I forced the bloody images out of my head and tried to focus on the here and now. When I pulled myself together (somewhat), I looked up and saw all eyes on me.

"I've already answered your questions to the best of my abilities. I don't remember anything," I said to Banachek and Simmons.

"We're just here to return your belongings," Banachek said. He held out a bag.

"Cause surely the fuck I want my bloody ass clothes."

"There's your phone, you're shoes aren't bloody, your iPod, and your keys." They turned and left the room, but I knew they'd be back.

I was silent then something occurred to me. "Fuck! How bad is my baby?"

"We're gonna have to get you a new one," my dad said.

"Damn it," I swore.

"We'll have a no one, customized just like the old, before you're allowed to drive, so don't worry."

"And how long is that gonna be?" I asked.

"Doctor said about six weeks."

"Fuck! When the hell am I getting out of here?"

"Tomorrow," Slater replied.

"And we'll be here bright and early," my mother promised.

I nodded and yawned.

"I'm just gonna sleep all day. You don't have to stick around.

"Fine, we'll leave," my dad said.

My mother started to protest. "But-"

"Bye," I said.

"Damn pushy child," my mother muttered.

"She gets that from her mother," my dad said.

My mom turned and glared at my dad. "She gets it from her father."

"Eh you like it."

"Damn right I do," she giggled, leaning up and kissing him.

"ALRIGHT GET THE FUCK OUT!" I screamed, covering my eyes. I ignored the pain screaming caused me.

They pulled apart. "Alright, we're going. Sheesh!" My mother raised her hands in surrender.

They walked out, and I shook my head. "AND AT LEAST MAKE IT HOME, YOU HORN DOGS!" I called, knowing that they could still hear me.

"That was disturbing," Slater said.

"No fucking shit. Where are your parents?" I asked her.

"I told them to go home."

"Seriously?"

"What I actually said was Barbra take you skank ass out of my room, take your bitch ass mother with you. Bye Daddy. I love you."

"Sounds more like it," I said.

"So have you noticed that Banachek and Simmons look like-"

"Banachek and Simmons?" I finished. "They look exactly like they do in the fucking movie."

"Alright so ladies-"

"Simmons get the fuck out, you already know everything I know," I bitched.

"We want to know more about this movie," Simmons said. "Tell me did Casey like it?"

I felt as if I had the wind knocked out of me.

"Get out!" Slater screamed. They just looked at her. "I'm not joking! Get the fuck out!"

"You don't have jurisdiction here Blondie!" Simmons yelled.

"I don't need fucking jurisdiction. Get the fuck out. And my name is Slater. I suggest you fucking use it." Slater's words came in in what was practically a growl.

"Simmons? Banachek?"

"Oh, so now Heat Miser decides to speak."

I ignored Simmons. "Do you know how it feels to lose everything you care about? Do you? You don't. You don't know a damn thing about Casey. I think it's in your best interest, if you never bring him up again, because I'll make sure that you know how that feels."

"Are you threatening a federal officer? We'll throw your ass in jail. Not even Blondie's law over here will be able to get you out."

"It's not a threat. It's a promise," I said, my voice not leaving the calm almost pleasant tone I started with. "One, I will make good on." My voice took on a hard, icy edge and I narrowed my green eyes dangerously.

Knowing my history to having read my file, he back away slowly, with Banachek following.

"This isn't over Red, Blondie. I promise you that."

"We'll see whose word means more," I replied.

"B?" Slater asked hesitantly.

"I want to hurt him. I want to so bad that it hurts me like a physical force." I was taking deep breaths, but my hands were curled in fists at my sides.

"Just go to sleep. Your parents dropped off your shit, and we can go home tomorrow," she said. "I'm gonna go get you something to eat, and if a nurse tries to say I can't, then I'm gonna punch her."

I picked up the remote that was beside me. I flipped to the news. I looked at the date at the top of the corner.'5/12/07'

"What the hell?" I grabbed my bag from where Simmons put it and pulled out my phone. It was the very first iPhone. I thought about it for a little bit. In 2007 I had gotten my iPhone a little over a month before it came out.

I looked over at the bag that my parents had brought. It was sitting on the chair on the other side of the room. Just then Slater came back.

"So it's so weird here. Everything that's a dollar is actually a dollar, not like a dollar twenty-five or something."

"Hand me that bag," I said, pointing to it. She handed it over. I dug around until I pulled out my PDA, not a PDA smart phone, a straight up PDA and PDA only.

"I thought you quit carrying that thing."

"I did the day the iPhone was released. I kept it until then even though I already had one." The gears were turning and there was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that was creeping its way through the rest of me.

"B, what's going on?"

"Hand me my chart," I instructed.

She just looked at me.

"God damn it slater, hand me my fucking chart!"

She handed it to me, and I flipped through it. I looked over it. My admission was dated 2007.

"Name: Blake Renee DeVille, Gender: Female, Race: Caucasian, Date of Birth: 03/09/1989 (Aged 18)"

"Slater, it's 2007," I said.

"What?"

"My charts, they're dated 2007, so is the news. Plus, I still have a PDA. Remember I kept it, until the iPhone was officially released, and I have an iPhone, the first one." I reached up and touched my nose. "No septum."

I looked at Slate. "Dude, your arm!" I screamed.

"What?" She looked down at her arm. It had been covered in ink, but now there was nothing.

"HOLY FUCK! WHERE DID THEY GO?!" she screamed. She held her arm away from the rest of her body as if it and it alone was diseased.

"You didn't start on the other arm until you were nineteen. You were in the chair, when I came in to get my nose done. It says I'm eighteen, and I'm missing the damn piercing."

"Are you sure they just didn't take it out?"

"Are you sure they just didn't take the ink out?"

"Alright, I get your point. How in the hell could we have gona back to 2007?"

"I don't fucking know!"

"Well what do we do?" she said.

"WISH ON A FUCKING STAR! WHAT THE FUCK MAKES YOU THINK I HAVE AN IDEA?!"

"CALM YOUR TITS, BITCH!" she yelled at me.

I narrowed my eyes at her. She returned the looked. We sat there glowering at each other for a good five minutes, before I began to work up a growl.

"You know, normal little kids teach themselves how to play games and jump rope? Nope, not you. Your crazy ass taught yourself how to growl like some fucking animal."

"I don't think you'll ever be able to comprehend THE FUCK I'M NOT GIVING!"

"Fuck your shit. Bitch eat your food and calm your ass down. I'm gonna try to figure something out. If I can't do it soon, well we have at least three months."

"At least three months?"

"That's how long it's gonna take for you ribs to fully heal."

"Three fucking months? Are you fucking serious? Of all of the fucking shit…" I went on and on. Slater went and investigated and only came back looking pissed off and tired. She settled into the chair and fell asleep. I sat and watched TV until around four in the morning, when I finally passed out.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I said looking at our living room it wasn't unpacked at all.

"Shit, we just moved in like three weeks ago," Slate said, remembering back.

"But our rooms should be done," I said. I slipped out of my shoes.

"Only you would be discharged from the hospital in fucking heels." Slater rolled her eyes.

"Not true there's my mother, your mother, your sister. Point is that I'm not the only one and even if I feel like shit, I'm gonna look damn good doing it."

"You're so shallow."

"As a kiddie pool," I responded.

"At least my room is down stairs. It's much easier to walked down than go up."

"Come on, I'll help ya."

"I can handle getting to my room on my own," I snipped.

"Dude, you have three cracked ribs and are walking like an old ass lady. If I help you, you'll get there faster."

"I can manage."

"You are stubborn as an ass."

"I've been told."

She still didn't let up.

As I walked into the kitchen, a thought hit me. In Transformers Simmons and the rest of S-7 went through Sam's entire house and yard. If the feeling I had was right then we needed to shut up and act normal. I changed course instead of going towards the door to the basement (my room) I went towards the junk drawer.

"Blake what the hell are you doing? You were supposed to go home and straight to bed."

I waved Slater off. I pulled out a tablet and a pen. I scribbled down my thought. "So maybe I'm a bit paranoid, but Simmons and Banachek insisted on me saying what I said when I woke up. So if they wanted to know so badly wouldn't they keep try to figure it the fuck out?"

"Blake, what the hell are you doing?" Slater asked.

I made a talking motion with my hand and then made a fist, telling her silently to shut up.

She rolled her eyes and pulled the tablet away from me and started reading. She looked up at me warily. Then she wrote her response. "What are you getting at?"

I smirked. She was starting to believe me. "I'm just thinking here. In the movie Simmons came to the house and had his team search the entire thing, but not closely, just looking for an energon reading. What if he came here?"

"If he came here then we're screwed, because who the hell knows what he found. He could've found our entire stash of Transformers stuff.

That wasn't really an issue. "Yo dumb ass, yeah if we don't have piercing and tattoos how the fuck are we gonna have DVDs and shit for a movie that hasn't come out?"

"Fuck off. I didn't think about that."

"You're such a blonde."

"Yes, yes I am. I'm assuming since you started writing that you think our house has been bugged."

"Better safe than sorry."

"I got it covered. You go to your room and crawl in bed and stay there."

"What are you my mother?" I asked.

"Yes, yes I am," she replied walking off.

I carefully went down the stairs to my room. I changed into my pajamas. I grabbed a dark silver nail polish, a nail file, nail polish remover, scissors, some cotton balls and Q-tips. I laid down on my bed. I began to scrape the old chipped black polish from my nails before completely cleaning of my nails with the nail polish remover. I filed them all square. That's when Slater came back down looking smug.

She held up six little bugs. I grabbed the empty glass I kept for the used Q-tips and cotton balls. I dumped out the red colored cotton and tossed it in the garbage can next to my bed. I poured the nail polish into the glass. I held it to Slater. She dropped the first of the bugs in it. It sparked and there was a little poof of smoke and it fizzled out. We shook it around, before I looked up at her. "Do you really think I'm gonna fuck up my work?" I said holding up my left hand which had two painted nails.

She rolled her eyes and fished out the bug and examined it before deeming it dead and dropping the next one in. We repeated the process until they were all gone. Slater started chanting "I found the bugs! Fuck your shit! I'm a boss! Simmons is a cock! I'm a boss!"

"You're a dumbass."

"I'm a mother fucking boss."

"So how did you find- Never mind I don't want to know."

I settled back into my bed and went back to my nails. "You and your damn nails." Slate shook her head. "I'm gonna make food, grab your meds and bring down Mean Girls"

"YOU GO GLEN COCO!" I screamed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Blake's Point of View**

"I'm so bored!" I groaned in agitation.

"You've got three cracked ribs what the fuck are you gonna do?" Slater said.

"I don't know," I said. "Go buy the shit and pierce my nose."

"Seriously?" she asked.

"You still know how to do piercings and tattoos. Pierce my nose."

"What? You want your septum done again?"

"No just a simple nose ring."

"Fine." She grumbled. "I have to go see Kendal anyways."

Kendal owned the tattoo shop, where Slater was an apprentice. "You're still apprentice." I thought about it.

"Yeah," she dead panned.

Apprenticing was one of her least favorite parts of tattooing. She understood she had to do it, and the people she worked with were pretty cool, but she was used to running things.

She moved from the chair she was standing in and walked up stairs. I listened for the door to shut and once that happened. I rose from my bed. I gingerly walked up the stairs into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of Fiji and sat down at the Mac that was temporarily set up in the kitchen. I could have just as easily got on my laptop downstairs, but it was driving me crazy. Red, black and silver were my favorite colors, but even though it hadn't been long, I was going crazy looking at them constantly.

I looked up some of my favorite transformers fansites and got absolutely nothing. I then went and looked up transformers. I got the electrical kind.

I slammed my fist down on the counter. "Don't know why I fucking bothered." I grumbled.

I cleared out the history, and just because I was extremely paranoid, I completely wiped it. I dug around in the fridge, grabbing the milk and heading over to the cabinet, where I grabbed my frosted flakes. I needed something to do. This sitting around, waiting on my ribs shit was getting really old. I finished my cereal and was about to head back down stairs to check if all of the wiring and stuff for my electronic set up was done.

Then there was a knock on the door. I grabbed the remote and looked up at the monitor in the corner of the kitchen that led to the living room. I saw Simmons standing there with the guy who was cosigning for him when he was tied up my Sam and Mikaela. Not Banachek, but the other guy. I walked over and pulled the door open.

"What the fuck do you want?" I asked

"Oh look, it's Crazy."

"I am not crazy." I glared at him.

"Alright, whatever Angry then. I'm here to check out your place for anything strange," he said.

"You got a warrant?" I asked.

"As a matter of fact…" He pulled out the paper. I looked it over. He knew Slater was gonna insist on one. I gestured for them to enter.

"YOU MAKE A FUCKING MESS YOU CLEAN IT UP!" I screeched.

I went over in the corner of the kitchen and stood by the door there. I did not trust them in my room alone. "So tell me what you're looking for," I said.

"Sorry Ronald, but that is classified."

I picked up a kitchen knife and waved it dangerously. "Compare me to a clown on e more fucking time."

"You got the hair."

"What's behind you?" he asked.

"A door."

"To what?"

"The basement."

"What's in the basement?"

"My room."

"Are you trying to hide something here?" he asked.

"No, but I do not trust you in my room, so I'm going to wait until your goons quit searching my house and then I can make sure they don't fuck up my computers or get their disgusting nerdy geeky hands to close to my clothes. It's extremely difficult to get dumbass and blue collar out of Chanel," I sneered.

He glared. I was indifferent. I could damn near kill him with a glare of my own. "Rich bitch," he said.

"Aww is someone jealous?" I patronized. "Because I can do this and you can't." I pulled one one of the cupboard doors the one with the grocery money in it. Now we didn't have a set amount. We just threw money in it, whenever. I pulled the cash out of the jar and started to count it.

"One-hundred… Two-hundred… Three-hundred… Four hundred… Five hundred… Six-"

"Alright Johnny Flame, let's go." He pushed me so that he could walk down. I hissed in pain. "Oh that's right. You're ribs aren't healed yet," he said smugly. "Seems someone isn't nearly as tough as she acts."

"Just go!" I snapped. I walked behind him gingerly.

He looked around. "Holy hell, Kid! You said it was you're room this is a damn apartment."

He looked around the part of my room that was pretty much a living room of sorts. He walked into the bathroom and then walked over to my vanity. He went to touch a bottle of perfume, and I smack his hand away. He dug through my drawers. They were filled with perfume, make-up and hair stuff. He went to touch my jewelry box. "Don't touch it. The box alone costs more than your fucking life," I growled.

"Chill Fire Crotch."

"I'm not joking."

"Fine then you open it." he said.

I pulled the drawers open one time, digging through the necklaces, bracelets, rings and earrings. "How rich are you and Blondie?"

"Are you done?" I asked, wanting to get him the hell away from the box.

"Did C-"

Ignoring screeching pain when my ribs protested, I grabbed Simmons and turned him around before slamming him against the wall pressing my forearm into his neck. He struggled to breathe. I got right up in his face. "Listen here cock sucker, unless you want me to press my arm into your throat just a little bit harder," I leaned my wait into him the pressure of my arm on his throat increasing. "I suggest that you leave me the hell alone, and I swear to god, if you ever EVER mention Casey again, I will kill you so fucking fast you won't have a god damned clue what hit you." I pressed even harder, before letting him go. He slumped to the floor.

"You just assaulted-"

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!" I screamed. I put my foot on his throat. I put just enough force on it, so that it was difficult, but he could breathe. "I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND! Listen we're the not fucking around crew. You're not going to find anything. There's nothing around, so I suggest you join the crew and quit fucking around." I pulled my foot off and stood back. "Get up and go act like you didn't just get your ass handed to you by an eighteen year old, and get the fuck out of my house."

He sent me a steely glare, which I responded with one of my own. I could see him internally cringing back. "I don't know what you and the blonde are up to, but I will figure it out. Once I do you and her and who ever said something about NBEs to you are going to rot in jail for the rest of your pathetic lives."

"One question Simmons. If you and your goons say you know what I said, why ask?"

"Verification."

"Well you can't verify shit cause I have no clue what the hell I said." I gestured towards the doorway. He walked out and back upstairs. Half way up the steps I heard the yell.

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?!" I heard Slater scream.

"THEY'RE LEAVING!" I screamed. We came up the stairs and Slater looked like she was about to rip Simmons' throat out.

"Alright, let's move out!" Simmons called. Every one stopped what they were doing and looked at Simmons. "YOU HEARD ME!" He yelled. They all began to file out. Once they were gone, slater turned to me.

"What the fuck was that?" She asked.

"They had a fucking warrant."

"Shit! Where'd they go?

"Everywhere," I answered. I grabbed another bottle of water. "I slammed Simmons against the wall, choked with my forearm, then with my foot. I threatened the shit out of him."

"We need a plan."

"I'm working on it. I have an idea."

"And what does this idea require?"

"A little bit of time and meds."


	7. Chapter 7

**Slater's Point of View**

"I'm so bored!" Blake groaned in agitation.

"You've got three cracked ribs, the fuck are you gonna do?" I said.

"I don't know, go buy the shit and pierce my nose."

"Seriously?"

"You still know how to do piercings and tattoos. Pierce my nose."

"What? You want your septum done again?"

"No just a simple nose ring."

"Fine, I have to go see Kendal anyways." Kendal is my boss, she owns the **Ink Splat!** tattoo chain.

"You're still an apprentice."

I thought about it for a second, "Yeah." I replied, getting up from my chair and walking upstairs. I went into my room and changed into my favorite red dress before going out to my first car, the 2007 Ford Mustang GT. 'Ugh, I hated this thing when I bought it, and I still hate it now, I need my Ferrari back.' I thought, getting into my car. I pulled into the parking lot of **Ink Splat!** and went inside.

"Hey Kendal, how many appointments today?" I asked.

"One, but it's a full back tat so it'll take a long ass time."

"Full back? Damn, I remember getting my side done. It took two sessions, and eight hours. In retrospect, I was only 15 when I got it…" I trailed off and went over to her station to set it up, and since I'd already been through this apprenticeship; I knew exactly what to do and it took virtually no time at all.

"Well damn Slayer!" Kendal said, walking up and looking at her station.

"Slayer?" I asked. I had forgotten about that, for the first four months I worked for her she thought I was one of those "scene kids" who give themselves pointless names involving murder and called me 'Slayer.' I hadn't questioned her the first time around.

"Isn't that your name?"

"Nah, it's Slater, with a 't' not a 'y.'" I clarified, smiling.

"Well why the fuck didn't you tell me that when you started here four fucking months ago?"

"I didn't really notice until just now."

"I'm still gonna call you Slayer, just so-" She was cut off by the door opening and a customer walking in. I walked up to the desk, "Hey, are you Kendal's appointment or are you here for Shane?"

"Well I came for Shane, but I'll stay for you baby." He winked at me; I rolled my eyes and called Shane over to deal with his appointment. I grabbed his arm while he was passing me. "Deal with him, he's high as fuck." I said, letting go of his arm and walking back over to Kendal, who was inspecting her machine. "Hey, what time's your appointment supposed to be coming in? I was gonna clean up the sketch station but I don't wanna be covered in charcoal and graphite when he walks in."

"Uh, he should have been here ten minutes ago, actually. But it doesn't matter; I can take care of it." She said. I nodded and started to walk to the sketching area when she grabbed my wrist.

"What's up?" I asked.

"What's going on with Shane? Who is that guy?"

"When I asked if he was here for you or Shane, he said that he came for Shane but he'd stay for me, and his eyes are red as fuck, so I'm guessing that he's Shane's high-as-superman-client who I'm gonna refer to as High Guy, I asked Shane to deal with him."

"Fuck, that's all I need in my shop. Shane looks like he's gonna kill his ass. I blame you."

"Why the fuck do you blame me?!"

"You made friends with the hot gay guy! He's more defensive of you than he is me!"

"He is hot… Why are all the hot artists gay?" I muttered to myself. "Want me to see what I can do?" I asked loud enough for her to hear me.

"If you want, I have to call my client, if he's not showing up, I'm touching up my left forearm."

I smirked at her disregard for her clientele and walked over to Shane and the High Guy, "Excuse me, is there a problem here?" I asked.

High Guy said "Yeah! You're over there and he won't let me near you!" to which Shane practically growled "Damn fucking straight I won't let you near her." I put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down and addressed High Guy. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave," I said.

"I didn't get my tattoo!" he started yelling.

"If your dumb ass didn't come in high, you would've gotten your fucking tattoo," Shane said.

"Fuck you!"he screamed, storming out of the shop.

"Who pissed in your cheerios?" I asked Shane, pulling him into a hug.

"Nobody, I just don't like pot head-dick bags coming into the shop and hitting on my bitch," he said, returning my hug.

"Oh, so now I'm your bitch?"

"Bitch, you've been my bitch for over three months!"

"I guess that's true, because I get you food and clean up your messes…."

"So do you still want those snakebites?"

"Yeah, but I'm gonna do 'em myself."

"Don't get infected!"

"If I get infected I'm cutting your balls off and turning them into a lamp for your ex."

"Harsh."

"Go back to work!" I shoved him toward his station and went over to the sketching area, and spent the next hour cleaning all their shit.

"I'll take a large caramel frappe and a large mocha frappe, and a twenty piece chicken nugget please," I said into the speaker at McDonalds, feeling like a fat ass. I pulled around to the window, paid, got mine and B's fried goodness and drove back to the house.

As I was walking on the path to the front door, my heel caught on something, and I dropped to the ground, skinning my knee in the process, effectively fucking up my tattoo. I managed to save the food though. I was still fucking pissed.

I opened the door and walked in to see none other than Simmons standing halfway up the stairs. "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?!" I screamed.

"THEY'RE LEAVING!" B screamed. She came up the stairs and stared at me, I probably looked like I was about to rip Simmons' throat out, and I was.

"Alright, let's move out!" Simmons called. Every one stopped what they were doing and looked at him. "YOU HEARD ME!" he yelled. They all began to file out. Once they were gone, I turned to Blake.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked.

"They had a fucking warrant."

"Shit! Where'd they go?

"Everywhere," she answered, grabbing a bottle of water. "I slammed Simmons against the wall, choked with my forearm, then with my foot. I threatened the shit out of him."

"We need a plan," I said.

"I'm working on it. I have an idea."

"And what does this idea require?"

"A little bit of time and meds."

"Well we've got both, and I got the shit to pierce your nose, and a set to do my lip, and I brought frappes and nuggets."  
We ate or food, I pierced her nose and my lip, and then I went upstairs to check out the damage. About six seconds in and I was already raging; my favorite batman underwear setwas missing. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY UNDERWEAR?!" I ran down the stairs, screaming.


	8. Chapter 8

**Blake's Point of View**

"Why can't we take my car?" Slater asked.

"Because mine is faster," I answered.

Slater and I were going to Tranquility Nevada. We live just outside of Vegas, so it wasn't going to be some ridiculous drive. Our goal was to find Sam. After having out house searched and being threaten with jail time for knowing about the 'NBEs' we were fully convinced that we were in the Bayverse.

"I still don't see why we wouldn't take the Ferrari, even if I had it."

"Because if we're gonna have to get the hell out of there, my car is faster."

"Only we would even believe that we might possibly be in a universe where the Transformers are real and only youwould suggest we go looking to be thrown in the middle of a war between giant alien robots."

"And only you would be dumb enough to go along with it. Now get in and let's go."

She got in and we were off. I'd been planning since the whole incident Simmons. My ribs had finally heeled, so I could put my plan into effect. The first part, was to go to Tranquility and see if we could find Sam. It was stupid, extremely stupid, but if we didn't find him Simmons wasn't actually going on and on about S-7 bull shit and our only problem, which was still a fucking big one, was that we were in 2007.

Tranquility was about an hour away. It wasn't a small town, but it wasn't big. That didn't mean that we didn't attract quite a few stares.

"We're here, now what?" Slater asked.

"We find Sam." I answered.

"It's only two, let's go to the school."

We went to the school and parked out front. If Sam came out, he was gonna come out the front, where his dad would pick him up. Around twenty minutes after were parked a dark green Porche pulled up.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"It's Ron. It's really fucking Ron! Oh shit it's Ron! Blake if that's Ron then this is real. We're in the Transformers Universe that's impossible."

"SLATER SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screeched at her. A guy who had been jogging stopped and stared at us. I narrowed my eyes at him. "What the fuck are you looking at shit dick?" I sneered. "I know I'm beautiful, but damn. Didn't your mama ever tell you that it's not nice to stare?"

"You're Blake DeVille, the rich girl," the guy said, recognizing me.

"You're friends with Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton," he said.

I sighed. I didn't like them. I had Kim come in and do my closet, and she latched on like a parasite. "Kim has done my closet on multiple occasions and introduced me to Paris we've only gone to a few award shows together. Relax."

"Can I get a picture?" he asked.

"What do you do?" I asked.

"I work at a gas station," he said.

"No. Now get lost," I said.

"But-"

"I said get lost. In case you can't tell, I'm not like the other socialites who are going to play nice. Go somewhere, the fuck away from me," I snapped at the guy.

"They always said you were mean," he said, jogging off.

"Bitch much?" Slater asked me.

"He's not a fire fighter, cop or in the military. He's not rich either. He's irrelevant." I waved her off.

"And when the hell did you start hanging out with those sluts?"

"We bumped into each other at the VMAs together last year that's it. Like I said, Kim did my closet."

"Whatever."

That's when people began to file out of the school. Sure enough, Sam came running out of the school with a paper in his hand.

"Shit!" I swore. I started up the car.

"What?" Slater asked, not able to see around me.

"It's today. Sam is going to buy Bee today," I said. "I thought we'd have time. I don't have the shoes for this."

"If you park near the lot, the glass is gonna get blown out."

"Barricade is here. The bots... Barricade and Bee, they fought before even coming to Tranquility."

"What the hell are we going to do?"

"We've got to get close to Sam," I said.

"Buy him Bee," Slater said. "Ron won't pay over four. Pitch in the last grand."

"You do it," I said. "I'll come along, but you do all the talking."

"Why?"

"Because I don't fucking like losers," I said.

"Says the nerd," she scoffed.

"Take it back!" I snapped

"Nerd. Face it. You're a geek. You've got more computers than friends and know an obnoxious amount about Transformers. You're a geek."

"I'm not a nerd, I'm technically gifted and I embrace that gift thank you very much. Plus very few people live up to my standards. It takes a special kind of person to be suitable as a friend. Plus Transformers was extremely popular."

"You're a cock," she said.

"I'm rich and I'm pretty. That makes up for it," I replied. I started the car and followed Ron and Sam. I pulled into the Porche dealership and parked. We hurried over to Bobby Bolivia's dealership. We started walking around looking, when a certain yellow Camaro pulled. "No driver." Slater pretended to look around a little bit, while I walked straight over to it. I ran my fingers over the hood. Slater walked over to us.

"Slater?" I said, in a tone that was far more pleasant than my usual one.

"Yes Blake?" she went along, knowing I was trying to get some kind of point across.

"Do you know what this car reminds me of?" I asked.

"What?"

"A Bumblebee," I answered pointedly.

"I was thinking that too."

I peered in the window. "Look there's a little robot on here steering wheel," I pointed.

"A robot on the automobile," she said.

"An autobot." I put emphasis on the word. "Do you know the only thing I don't like about the 76 Camaro?"

"The six like six-six-six?"

"No the seven," I responded. "I really don't like seven, especially certain sectors."

"It's such a shame that I left my glasses at home. Then I could really appreciate this car," Slater said.

"Let's go see if we can buy it. Then maybe we'll go see Sam." I backed away from Bee. We walked over to Boliva.

"Think we got the message across?" Slater asked.

"Oh yeah."

"Why hello hello hello. What can I do for you to young ladies today?" he asked, looking at us, starting at our feet and working his way up.

"The Camaro. We want it," I said bluntly.

Slater elbowed me in the ribs. "How much is the camaro?" Slater asked.

"Camaro what Camaro?" He asked.

I turned to point, but he wasn't there. "Mother fucker! " I swore. I went jogging off as fast as my heels would take me to the Bugatti.

"Where the fuck are you going?"

"None of your fucking beeswax!" I yelled.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"Help Samantha!" I yelled. I got to the car and drove off. "Bumblebee, where are you?" I asked out loud. I searched around. I found the underpass, where the chase with Barricade started. My phone rang. "Huh?"

"He's back," Slater said.

"Got it." I sped back to the dealership, so happy that the cops seemed to have just vanished. I circled around the dealership. Slater was standing on the curb waiting. I pulled over and let her in.

"What's the deal?" I asked.

"I bought Bee for Sam. I spent five grand buying Sam Bee, and the cock won't even give me a fucking sign. I'm boutta fuck his sensitive wings up with a baseball bat."

"Gah door wings!" I screamed. I cringed.

"That one fan fic?" she asked, knowing that it creeped me out.

"It was like fucking doorplay or some shit."

"Now what the fuck do we do?"

"Go ninja and creep around that fucking junk yard," I sneered the last part.

"This is fucking disgusting," I bitched, sneaking around the junk yard. "I swear to god. If I break a fucking nail, I am going to kick Bee in his sensitive aft door wings."

We heard an engine then screaming. "Here they come," Slater said.

"Oh my fragging god! He screams like such a bitch!"

"Do you want to talk to Sam or try to talk to Bee?"

"I'll take the bot," she said, running off.

"I'll take the bitch," I muttered to myself. I ran to the tracks. Sam came across and ducked behind a pile of crap. I scurried over. "I am so over this fucking shit already," I grumbled. Sam looked behind him at me. "What the fuck are you doing?" I asked. I figured acting ignorant was the best idea with Sam.

"Someone stole my car." He answered.

"So you run here?"

"The cops find you here, they're going to fuck your shit up," I said. Over his shoulder, I saw Bee stand. "Oh my god," I gaped. I thought I was prepared. I was prepared to be prepared, but that was for an instant, just forgotten. One of the bots, who I had grown up idolizing, was there, in real life, signaling the others.

Sam turned and looked. He saw Bee and was in awe for a moment before he started freaking out. He pulled out his phone. He started recording his little video. At the same time, my rang. "What Slate?" I asked.

"Are you seeing this shit?"

"It's amazing," I said.

"See you're getting bot struck."

I saw Sam start to move forward. "I'll call you back," I said to her. "Sam, dogs." I whisper yelled.

"How did you know my name?" He asked.

"Shit," I swore, realizing my slip. "I just do now come on."

He moved just enough that the dogs saw him and came running.

He tore off and I chased after him. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I do not run." 'As soon as all of the first movie is over, I'm giving him an ass beating he will never forget.' We ran into the large building tent thing and hopped up on the garbage that was there. I hopped up too. I grabbed him and went to grab from his pocket, but he moved and I fell. The dogs went to close in on me, but Bee drove in then and they ran off.

Sam was screaming and threw the keys.

"Sam he's one of the good guys!" I screamed. He ran off. Bee popped open the door and let me in before driving off. He drove out of sight of the cops. He slowed down. "Bumblebee?" I asked, hoping to get a response.

The radio buzzed with static before answering. 'You know my name.

My phone rang again. "Blake, I lost him, and I can't go anywhere because of those cock sucking cops."

"Where are you?"

"By the fucking tower thing."

"I got it," I said. "Give me a like ten minutes."

"Bitch, the hell are you gonna do?"

"Faith Slate, faith." I hung up. Then I addressed Bee. "Yeah, I know your name. I know the others' too. I have to go get my friend. Will you stay here?" I asked. "I'll explain everything to the best of my ability later, when I come back."

"Yes," he said.

"I want your word, autobot."

"You have… my word."

"And you have mine." I got out walked around examining where, the cops were. They were all around the tower, some not doing anything other, others looking for more trespassers. There was a fence, so they were in a semicircle. I walked around to the other side of the piece of fence. The boards were loose and I easily pulled two of them off. I slipped in the opening I had created. Slater was standing her back up against the tower's base peeking her around looking.

"Slate!" I once again whisper yelled. She looked over. I waved her over. She was obviously relieved. She started over and stepped on a piece of metal. It moved just enough causing the lid to a trash can to fall. The noise it made caught the attention of the cops.

"Hey! I think I heard something!"

She ran over and helped me put the two boards back. We ran. I looked over my shoulder and the cops were moving boards to get through. I grabbed her arm and dragged her over to where a few large, old, rusted refrigerators wre lying on their sides. Her hat fell off.

"Really the hat?" I asked.

"My hair is bright ass yellow. Don't you think that stands out a bit more than red in the dark?"

"Shut the fuck up and crouch," I replied, dragging her down.

"Cunt."

"I don't give a fuck."

"Someone go check over by those refrigerators."

"Mother fucker," I snarled. We crept away over to the fence. We walked along it looking for a way out. The top had barbed wire so climbing over wasn't an option. There was a place, where something probably a dog or maybe a really stupid person had borrowed under. "Man this is fucking bull shit," I whined.

"Just crawl bitch," Slater said. I crawled underneath and stood up on the other side. I helped Slater. I led her to where Bee should've been parked. "I need new clothes.

"You could just wash those ones."

"You're kidding right?" I stared at her incredulously. "The tank can be washed, but the jeans have a rip, the jacket is messed up and these shoes-"

"Whatever. Where are we going?"

We turned the corner and sitting there was the beat up Camaro. He flashed his lights.

"Holy fuck!"

"Exactly," I said with a smirk.


	9. Chapter 9

**Slater's Point of View**

"Why can't we take my car?" I asked.

"Because min is faster," Blake answered, it was almost always the answer.

"I still don't see why we wouldn't take the Ferrari even if I had it."

"Because if we're gonna have to get the hell out of there, my car is faster."

"Only we would even believe that we might possibly be in a universe where the Transformers are real and only you would suggest we go looking to be thrown in the middle of a war between giant alien robots."

"And only you would be dumb enough to go along with it. Now get in and let's go."

I got in and we were off. Blake had been planning since the whole incident Simmons. Her ribs had finally heeled, and she decided to put her plan into effect, and I'm a part of that plan. Step one is to go to Tranquility and see if we can find Sam. It's stupid, extremely stupid, but if we didn't find him Simmons wasn't actually going on and on about S-7 bull shit. Then she pointed out that if Simmons isn't going on about S-7, and if we can't find Sam, our only problem, which is still a fucking big one, was that we're in 2007.

Tranquility was about an hour away. It wasn't a small town, but it wasn't big. That didn't mean that we didn't attract quite a few stares.

"We're here, now what?" I asked.

"We find Sam." Blake answered.

"It's only two, let's go to the school."

We went to the school and parked out front. If Sam came out, he was gonna come out the front, where his dad would pick him up. Around twenty minutes after were parked a dark green Porche pulled up.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Blake said.

"It's Ron. It's really fucking Ron! Oh shit it's Ron! Blake, if that's Ron, then this is real. We're in the Transformers Universe that's impossible."

"SLATER SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She screeched at me. A guy who had been jogging stopped and stared at us. I rolled my eyes as she narrowed hers at him. "What the fuck are you looking at shit dick?" She sneered. "I know I'm beautiful, but damn. Didn't your mama ever tell you that it's not nice to stare?"

"You're Blake DeVille, the rich girl," the guy said recognizing her, which confused me a little.

"You're friends with Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton," he stated, which really fucking confused me.

"Kim has done my closet on multiple occasions and introduced me to Paris we've only gone to a few award shows together. Relax."

"Can I get a picture?" he asked.

"What do you do?" she asked.

"I work at a gas station," he said.

"No. Now get lost," she said.

"But-"

"I said get lost. In case you can't tell, I'm not like the other socialites who are going to play nice. Go somewhere, the fuck away from me." She pretty much snapped at the guy.

"They always said you were mean," he said, jogging off.

"Bitch much?" I asked her, rolling my eyes.

"He's not a fire fighter, cop or in the military. He's not rich either. He's irrelevant." She waved me off.

"And when the hell did you start hanging out with those sluts?"

"We bumped into each other at the VMAs together last year that's it. Like I said, Kim did my closet."

"Whatever."

That's when people began to file out of the school. Sure enough, Sam came running out of the school with a paper in his hand.

"Shit!" Blake swore, starting up the car.

"What?" I asked, not able to see around her.

"It's today. Sam is going to buy Bee today," She said. "I thought we'd have time. I don't have the shoes for this."

"If you park near the lot, the glass is gonna get blown out."

"Barricade is here. The bots… Barricade and Bee, they fought before even coming to Tranquility."

"What the hell are we going to do?"

"We've got to get close to Sam." She said.

"Buy him Bee," I suggested. "Ron won't pay over four. Pitch in the last grand."

"You do it," she said. "I'll come along, but you do all the talking."

"Why?"

"Because I don't fucking like losers," Blake said.

"Says the nerd," I scoffed.

"Take it back!" she snapped

"Nerd. Face it. You're a geek. You've got more computers than friends and know an obnoxious amount about Transformers. You're a geek."

"I'm not a nerd, I'm technically gifted and I embrace that gift thank you very much. Plus very few people live up to my standards. It takes a special kind of person to be suitable as a friend. Plus Transformers was extremely popular."

"You're a cock," I said.

"I'm rich and I'm pretty. That makes up for it." She replied. Blake started the car and followed Ron and Sam. She pulled into the Porche dealership and parked. We hurried over to Bobby Bolivia's dealership. We started walking around looking, when a certain yellow Camaro pulled. "No driver." I pretended to look around a little bit, while Blake walked straight over to it. She ran her fingers over the hood. I walked over to them.

"Slater?" Blake said in a tone that was far more pleasant than my usual one.

"Yes Blake?" I went along, knowing she was trying to get some kind of point across.

"Do you know what this car reminds me of?" she asked.

"What?"

"A Bumblebee," Blake answered pointedly.

"I was thinking that too."

She peered in the window. "Look there's a little robot on the steering wheel." She pointed.

"A robot on the automobile," I said.

"An autobot," she put emphasis on the word. "Do you know the only thing I don't like about the 76 Camaro?"

"The six like six-six-six?"

"No the seven," she responded. "I really don't like seven, especially certain sectors."

"It's such a shame that I left my glasses at home. Then I could really appreciate this car," I said.

"Let's go see if we can buy it. Then maybe we'll go see Sam." She backed away from Bee. We walked over to Boliva.

"Think we got the message across?" I asked.

"Oh yeah."

"Why hello hello hello. What can I do for you to young ladies today?" he asked, looking at us, starting at our feet and working his way up.

"The Camaro. We want it," she said bluntly.

I elbowed her in the ribs. "How much is the Camaro?" I asked.

"Camaro what Camaro?" He asked.

Blake turned to point, but he wasn't there. "Mother fucker! " She swore and went jogging off as fast as her heels would take her to the Bugatti.

"Where the fuck are you going?" I screamed after her.

"None of your fucking beeswax!" she yelled.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"Help Samantha!" she yelled, getting into the car and speeding off. I looked around a bit, and then I saw Bumblebee and Sam, who was arguing with Ron.

"Excuse me boys, but I couldn't help but notice that you're having a bit of a…. disagreement?" I said, walking up to them and leaning on the Camaro.

"Yeah we're having a disagreement. I'm not spending this much money on this car," said Ron.

I looked over and smiled at Sam. "Well, I can spot you the cash if you need it. How much?" I asked.

"Five grand," Ron butted in before Sam could answer me.

"Fine, here," I said, handing over five grand, in cash.

"Why do you have so much money?" Sam asked, looking at me incredulously.

"I'm a trust fund baby, having cash is what I do," I said, smirking and walking away. I got a safe distance and called Blake. "Huh?" she answered.

"He's back," I said.

"Got it."

Within minutes she was back, I was standing on the curb waiting. She pulled over and let me in.

"What's the deal?" she asked.

"I bought Bee for Sam. I spent five grand buying Sam Bee, and the cock won't even give me a fucking sign. I'm boutta fuck his sensitive wings up with a baseball bat."

"Gah door wings!" She screamed, cringing.

"That one fan fic?" I asked knowing that it creeped her out.

"It was like fucking doorplay or some shit," she said.

"Now what the fuck do we do?"

"Go ninja and creep around that fucking junk yard," she sneered the last part, I was indifferent to creeping around a junkyard, comes with being an art kid.

"This is fucking disgusting." She said sneaking around the junk yard. "I swear to god. If I break a fucking nail, I am going to kick Bee in his sensitive aft door wings."

We heard an engine then screaming. "Here they come," I said.

"Oh my fragging god! He screams like such a bitch!" Blake said.

"Do you want to talk to Sam or try to talk to Bee?"

"I'll take the bot," I said, running off.

I ran up to where Bee was and tried to get his attention, all to no avail, I had to jump three fences to get to his ass and he ignored me. "I am so gonna fuck up your door wings!" I hissed at him, before ducking behind some garbage to avoid some incoming cop cars.

I watched Bee stand there, signaling the others before I called Blake. "What Slate?" She asked, answering.

"Are you seeing this shit?" I asked.

"It's amazing."

"See you're getting bot struck," I said, smirking even though she couldn't see me.

"I'll call you back," she said, hanging up.

Bee transformed and the cops started looking for him, and closing in on my position. I pulled out my phone to call Blake for help, I was fucking trapped by cunt bag cops.

"Blake, I lost him and I can't go anywhere because of those cock sucking cops."

"Where are you?"

"By the fucking tower thing."

"I got it," she said. "Give me a like ten minutes."

"Bitch, the hell are you gonna do?"

"Faith Slate, faith." She hung up and I walked around to the other side of the water tower, being stealthy as shit. A few minutes later I heard some noises behind me, and I pulled a fucking combat roll thing to the other side of the tower's base, thinking it was a cop.

"Slate!" she whisper yelled. I looked over and she waved me over. I let out the breath I was holding and started over, but I stepped on a piece of metal. It moved just enough to cause the lid of a trash can to fall. The noise it made caught the attention of the cops.

"Hey! I think I heard something," one of them yelled. I ran over and helped her put the boards she moved back. We ran. I looked over my shoulder and the cops were moving boards to get through. She grabbed my arm and dragged me over to where a few large, old, rusted refrigerators were lying on their sides. My fucking hat fell off.

"Really the hat?" She asked.

"My hair is bright ass yellow. Don't you think that stands out a bit more than red in the dark?"

"Shut the fuck up and crouch," she replied dragging me down.

"Cunt."

"I don't give a fuck."

"Someone go check over by those refrigerators," a cop yelled.

"Mother fucker," she snarled. We crept away over to the fence. We walked along it, looking for a way out. The top had barbed wire so climbing over wasn't an option. There was a place, where something probably a dog or maybe a really stupid person had borrowed under. "Man this is fucking bull shit," she whined.

"Just crawl bitch," I said. She crawled underneath and stood up on the other side, then helped me. She led me to the area where I'm pretty sure Bee parked in the movie. "I need new clothes."

"You could just wash those ones," I suggested.

"You're kidding right?" she stared at her incredulously. "The tank can be washed, but the jeans have a rip, the jacket is messed up and these shoes-"

"Whatever. Where are we going?" I interrupted.

We turned the corner and sitting there was the beat up Camaro. He flashed his lights.

"Holy fuck!" I said, in awe.

"Exactly," Blake said with a smirk.


	10. Chapter 10

**Blake's Point of View**

"I love nikes." I said.

"Blake?"

"Huh?"

"Now is not the time."

"Oh my simple simple Slater, even in a time of crisis there is time to appreciate and admire shoes," I stood up, grabbed my keys, my phone and the key card and walked towards the door, where Slater was standing. "Let's go." We walked out to the parking lot. There was my Bugati and parked next to it was Bee. I walked up to the driver's side.

"May we?" I asked.

He unlocked the doors and let us in. "I'm Blake. I'm the bitch." I pointed at my yellow haired friend. "That's Slate. She's the nice one, until you piss her off."

"Blake doesn't need to be pissed off. She dwells in an eternal vat of pissed offness."

"Anyways my pissed offness is irrelevant. We've got some things to discuss. There's one tiny itty bitty problem though," I said. I had thought this over. There was only so much I could tell Bee. If I told him too much, then I pretty much fucked everything up. I really needed to talk to Optimus. "I can't tell you everything I know," I said.

"What… can you… tell me…" he asked.

"I'm not sure. Honestly, I need to talk to Prime. If I don't tell you enough everything I don't want to happen will. If I tell you too much then everything I need to happen won't."

"What do you need?"

"I need to be fucking sure that every last chance the cons have at destroying this planet is eliminated."

"What do you mean?"

"What I am about to tell you is going to make me sound insane, because it defies what humans are capable of. Slater and I aren't from here."

"The bitch doesn't just mean we're not from Tranquility either. We're from a completely different dimension."

"With no clue how the fuck we got here."

"Trippy shit." Slater continued. "Where we're from is four years in the future, and Cybertronians, transformers are just a toy, comic, tv, movie, franchise."

"It was twenty-four yearlong franchise."

"She was a huge fan. It was obnoxious she owned everything. Plus you were one of her favorites although S-"

"ANYWAYS, we know what's supposed to happen the next four years and I know practically everything about you. You're Bumblebee. You're the youngest of the Autobots. You're a scout. Megatron damaged your vocal processor and ripped off your arms. You're the sole survivor of the attack on the youth sectors. You want nothing more than prove to the others that despite your youth you are a critical part of the team."

He started up his engine and started driving not bothering to respond. He stopped when he got to a field with no one in sight.

He opened his doors and let us out. I knew he wasn't just gonna leave us here. He was too nice for that. Even if he wasn't, we had potentially valuable information. We got out and took a few steps away from him giving him room to transform. He did as we predicted and as soon as he was fully transformed he kneeled down and looked us in the eye.

I was grinning like a Cheshire cat. I looked over at Slater. She seemed a bit apprehensive, but then again we were putting ourselves in a war.

I looked away from her at Bee. "This is fucking awesome."

"What… can you tell… me?"

"The All-Spark needs to be destroyed," I earned a solid glare from the mech for that one.

"You are shit at explaining things," Slater said to me.

I shrugged and continued to stare up at the bot taking the time to examine each and every available piece of armor visible.

"Do you even believe that we're not spewing bullshit?" she asked the bot.

"Willing to… believe anything… at this point…"

"Well that's promising," I said. He glared at me again.

"Blake is right. The All Spark has to be destroyed. It's the only way to end the war. The Decepticons can't be completely defeated. Peace will never be restored to Cybertron," Slater explained.

"But you can find a new home. Here on Earth," I said.

"Optimus will even say that's how it has to end. Now you really only have two options here." My voice took its usual hard edge.

"Here comes the bitch," Slater sighed.

"You can either let us help you, and we can save so many more lives, or you can just go and continue the way things are going to go naturally. Do you know what that entails? Oh wait you don't, but I do. What I know is that if things continue the way we've seen things Jazz is going to die. You are going to have your legs blown off, and the cube is going to be destroyed either fucking way."

He revved in irritation.

"Bee, I know you're a very kind and sweet mech. You're actually really fucking adorable. Don't try to play hard ass with me, because it's not gonna fucking work. Now I have been interrogated, drugged, in and out of the damn hospital, my house has been searched and all my shit either hasn't been invented yet or I just don't own, so give me a fucking sign here." I scowled at the mech.

"Blake, chill the fuck out," Slate said. I did nothing. "If you keep looking like that then you're going to get wrinkles."

I smoothed out my expression.

"You're rendezvousing with the other bots in an alley tomorrow night." Slater started looking at the bot. "We're not exactly sure where, but we can figure that out on our own, but we're going to be there, whether you accept our help or not. If you don't, we're just gonna find another way. We know that the humans survive. We want to make sure as many Autobots survive as possible."

His gaze softened as he looked at the two of us. "Meet us… behind… manufacturing… district… "

"You're gonna get Sam. He's gonna run. You're going to have to fight Barricade. Oh and you'll end up taking his future girlfriend with you too," Slate explained.

"When you fight Barricade, I suggest you kill him. If you don't he'll be a pain in the ass later on," I added.

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE?!" I screeched.

"Because you have no fucking sense of direction."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP SLATER! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Who the fuck can't find a whole damn district?"

I turned and smacked her upside her head.

"Really Bitch?" she asked.

"I told you to shut the fuck up. It's not my fault that big ass truck has a stupid ass driver tipped in the round about. Who the fuck is that stupid though? Was he going fucking ninety? At least there would've been sign telling us where the fuck to go then."

"Turn left here," she said.

For once, I listened and somehow we ended up back on the main road. "New plan." I said.

"What?"

"We walk," I said pulling over.

"Did I just here what I think I heard? Blake Renne DeVille is going to walk somewhere."

"Suck my dick," I responded. I got out of my car and stood on the side walk. "Okay, where the fuck are we?"

"I don't fucking know."

"Rhetorical bitch. Alright. Let's just fucking walk until we fucking figure something out."

We walked for about five minutes, when our savior in the form of a sign appeared. "Dude look!" Slater said pointing across the street.

The sign was old and rusted. It read 'Brinker back lot Stay out'. "Thank fucking God. It's getting dark and they're gonna land soon," I said. We walked over, and it wasn't a lot, but in an alley. We wondered down it looking for the meeting place. We eventually found it. The beat up car that Jazz used as a chair was the main identifier. I looked around. "This is fucking gross. They couldn't have picked a damn field or something."

"Will you quit your fucking bitching?!"

"Listen I'm not some art kid, who fucking dives in dumpsters and digs around in junk yards for inspiration."

"I don't dumpster dive, and I at least I don't spend my days elbow deep in fucking computer parts."

"Computer parts not as disgusting as trash."

"Toxic."

"Details." I waved her off.

We waited for a while, until we saw headlights. Well, we heard Bee, before we saw him. I turned to towards where he drove up. Sam and Mikaela got out. Then I heard the rest coming.

"You!" Sam pointed at Slate. "You're the girl that bought my car! What the hell is all this?" he asked her. "And who are you?!" He pointed at me.

Slater tried to calm Sam down and explained everything to him, well what she could. I ignored them and watched for the others. I was actually getting kind of nervous, which wasn't normal for me. I shoved my hands in my pockets and fiddled with my keys. Bee drove forward just a bit and bumped me. I turned around to look at him.

"Don't.. be scared…" his radio played.

"I'm not scared, just nervous. I idolized all of you when I was little. Hell, I'm twenty- well… err technically since we traveled back and reverted to our physical state from four years ago I'm eighteen, it's irrelevant, I still idolize you guys. Sorry for being a bitch earlier. Well I'm not actually sorry, cause that's just who I am, but still- Ah fuck I give up." I turned away.

"It's all good…" he replied.

"I saw head lights coming at us and the cool Pontiac solstice pulled up. He was quickly followed by everyone's favorite GMC Topkick, the Grumpiest Search and rescue hummer of all time, and lastly the blue Semi with red flames.

Slater walked over and stood beside me.

Optimus began to transform. "Oh. My. God." I gaped. Nothing no movie could have prepared me for the sight. The others followed his lead.

Slater bumped me with her arm to get my attention. I looked at her and she had the same look on her face as I did.

"Holy fuck," I said.

Optimus knelt down and looked between all of us humans, his eyes finally settling on Sam. "Are you Samuel James Witicky decedent of Archibald Witwicky?" he asked.

"They know your name," Mikaela said in amazement.

"Yes," Sam answered.

"And we know theirs," I said, regaining some of my composure. I looked up at the Prime. "You are Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots." I turned towards the medic. "Ratchet, the best CMO Cybertron has to offer."

He looked proud before sniffing the air. "The boy's pheromone levels suggest he wants to mate with the females."

Slater started laughing at Sam and Mikaela's awkwardness.

I kept going. "Ironhide, Prime's oldest friend, and weapon specialist. On your left you have an energy rocket launcher and on the right is a plasma rocket blaster."

He twirled same weapons and aimed them at us. "You feeling lucky punk?"

"Easy Ironhide," Optimus warned.

"It's cool hard ass, just wants to show off his cannons."

"Then there's Jazz. He's a saboteur and second in command." I kept going.

"What's crackin' little bitches? This looks like a cool place ta kick it."

"Nope," I said.

"Not really," Slater backed me. "Vegas is a cool place though."

"And New York," I tagged on.

"Pittsburgh."

"Vancouver, but that's not important. Last, but certainly not least is Bumblebee. Bee is a scout and his vocal processors were damaged in battle so he can't talk. Ratchet is still working on them."

Bee started his little jig, but was stopped when Ratchet fired a regenerative laser at his vocal processor, causing the young scout to cough.

"How did Jazz learn to talk like that and how do you know all of this?" Sam asked Slater and I.

"We learned Earth's languages through the world wide web," Optimus answered the first question. "As for the second question, I would like to know the answer to that myself."

"What're your designations shorties?"

"I'm Blake DeVille."

"And I'm Slater Hunt, and we traveled from a different dimension four years in the future, where you guys aren't real, but are instead the center of a very popular franchise."

"Which is why I know so much about you, because Transformers, which was the name of the franchise was pretty much my entire childhood. You're here for the All-Spark, which is the life source of your planet, Cyberton. There's a war going on between you Autobots and the Decepticons led by Megatwat, the biggest fucking asshole to ever exist I hope he fucking rusts in pit, where he belongs."

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is she talking about?" Sam asked.

Optimus projected the holograph of Cybertron in its final days before they left. "Our planet was once a powerful empire, peaceful and just, until we were betrayed by Megatron..."

"Twat," I muttered under my breath.

"Cunt," I heard Slater.

"Leader of the Decepticons. All who defied them were destroyed. Our war finally consumed the planet and the All Spark was lost to the stars. Megatron folloed it to Earth, where Captain Witwicky found him."

"My grandfather."

"It was an accident that intertwined our fates."

We continued to watch on as Optimus showed Sam's grandfather stumbling upon Megaprick.

"Megatron crash landed before he could retrieve the cube. He accidently activated his navigation system. The coordinates to the Cube's location on Earth were imprinted on his glasses."

"How'd you know about his glasses?" Sam asked.

"eBay."

"eBay," Sam repeated.

"Yep, eBay," I said.

"Sure thing ladiesman217," Slater added. We laughed as he glared.

The mood turned serious as ratchet spoke. "If the Decepticons find the All Spark, they will use its power to transform Earth's machines and build a new army."

"And the human race will be extinguished," Prime continued.

"There's not a chance in hell of that happening. I didn't get this ugly ass scar for no fucking reason."

"The glasses are in the kitchen. Sam, remember that because if you don't your mom is going to have this awkward moment with you where she talks about you jacking off," Slater said.

"Yeah, Sam's special alone time."

"I don't like you two. I don't care if the yellow one-"

"Slater, fuck face remember it," she warned.

"Bought my car. You're both bitches."

"Why thank you, but I'm not just a bitch. I am the bitch." I then turned towards Optimus with a tentative smile. "I need to talk to you," I said. I looked at Slater who was already talking to Jazz. He was one of her favorites.

"What is it?" he asked.

"It would be better, if you let me ride with you that way we can get a move on," I suggested.

"Yes. Time is of the essence."

"Autobots transform and roll out. Bumblebee lead the way," Optimus said.

"You wanna ride wit da Jazz-Man?" Jazz asked Slater.

She looked at me. "You good?"

"I'm good."

"Sure," she said to Jazz. He transformed and opened up his door for her. She got in. Optimus transformed down and opened the door for me. I climbed up into his cab.

"I am curious to know the full story on how you've traveled through dimensions as you think you have."

"We're not really sure what happened. We were on our way home from the final movie in the series, and there was an accident. I got a few cracked ribs and a cut on my face. Slater just had a messed up arm. We woke up and were being interrogated by sector seven agents."

"And Sector Seven in the group that has been chasing after Bumblebee?" he asked.

"Yes. They're bad people. They want to torment and experiment on you for their personal gain."

"I see. What is it that you wanted to talk to me about? I can tell that there's more to this than just answering my questions."

"I'm... conflicted. I know that in order to change things I have to tell you what happens, but I don't know exactly how much I can tell you and what things I have to let happen even if I don't want them to."

"Start with what you know you can tell me," Optimus said.

"The cube is going to be destroyed."

He ran air through his vents. "It is true. It is the only way to stop the war and bring peace to Cybertron. I take it you know my plan to destroy it?"

"Yes, and it's not going to happen. I'm not just saying this either. It's critical to both of our races that you survive."

"Then what do you suggest?"

I ran a hand through my hair. "This is where it gets complicated. If I tell you what happens, you're going to try to change it, and I don't know how that actually affects the total outcome."

"The cube is Plan A for the cons. There's a B and a C too. I don't know, if we can take those plans down if I let you breeze through this."

"Although I have never been in your position, I understand your dilemma. You must choose what is best, even if it is not what you want. Blake, there is no way for you to be sure of the outcome of everything, but I will stand behind you in your decisions."

"You trust me?" I asked.

"I have not known you long, but in the short time that I have, I can tell that this is eating you up inside, and even if you aren't the kindest of people, you are one of the most righteous."

"I am not a good example of righteous at all."

"As you humans say, 'your heart is in the right place'."

"Thank you Optimus. There are some things I can tell you. For one, Bumblebee is going to be captured by S7. The agents are gonna roll up on Sam's house around five minutes after we get there. He needs to go, and Sam needs to be taken in cause that's gonna lead them to the All Spark. Then Jazz, make sure that the others know not to allow Jazz to engage Megatron. If he does, he will die."

"Noted, we don't have enough Autobots with us now as it is. We don't need to lose another one, especially one as cared about and as trusted as Jazz."

"Good, so Slater and I are going to get taken in with the rest of them. Make sure you get the glasses."

"I will and what is your plan after you are taken into custody?"

"To free Bumblebee, get the All Spark, and get a little revenge."

"These agents have threatened you?"

"They know that we know about you, but they don't have any real proof. They've used someone I loved, to mess with me. I'm not letting them off that easily."

"Be careful vengeance is a dangerous beast."

"I will."

We pulled into the alley behind Sam's house. There were cars everywhere. "Fuck S7 is already here!" I once again ran my hand through my hair. "Did Bee drop Sam and Mikaela off?" I asked.

"Affirmative."

"Good."

"Should we go after them?"

"Yeah."

He was quiet for a moment. I noticed all of the lights in his dash dimmed. "The others and I have a plan."

"Good."


	11. Chapter 11

**Blake's Point of View**

I stood beside Slater in the middle of the road. We were waiting on Simmons and his merry band of assholes. I was braiding my hair real quick to keep it out of my face. Just as I stuck the hair elastic I kept on my wrist around the bottom, we saw the head lights.

Simmons lacky bitch obviously wasn't paying attention to where he was going because he slammed on the braked to avoid hitting us. Slater and I didn't even flinch.

Simmons got out of the car flanked by the lacky bitch. "Blondie and Heat Miser, I knew you were involved in this." He walked up right in front of us. My hands were in my pocket.

"Simmons, you've read my file. You know my family and what's happened. You know what happens when something like that happens?" I asked.

"No, what happens Red?"

"You get a little paranoid. You get taught things."

"Well you have time to teach yourself things, when you're in prison for treason."

"Or assult," I said. I sent my fist flying into Simmons nose. The crunch of his nose was satisfying. His goons got out of their cars guns aimed. I grabbed Simmons' cuffs and while he was distracted grabbed his hands cuffing them behind his back. Slater did the same thing to the lacky.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING SHOOT THEM?!" Simmons was screaming.

"Shooting the children would be a grave mistake," Optimus' deep voice boomed from behind me. The bots came over, and Jazz stripped them of their weapons. I knocked Simmons down so that he was on his knees.

"You get taught how to defend yourself. You know what happened basic self-defense wouldn't have helped me, but this would." I pushed him forward so that he fell on his face.

I walked over to the SUV they were and opened the door. I helped Sam and Mikaela out. Slater got the key and freed them.

We let Sam and Mikaela ask their questions and handcuff them all to a pole. I could've lived without her making Simmons strip. Then again I could've lived without seeing ninety percent of his ass in Revenge of the Fallen too.

"We need to alert everyone," I heard Simmons say.

"Slate?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"You know the plan?"

"Yeah."

"It's go time," I said.

The other SUVs and helicopters started to arrive and Hide shot the ground. The bots transformed and took off. Optimus picked up Sam and Mikaela and ran. Slater and I just kind of ran. We knew we had to go with, but we didn't exactly know how to go about it. There was no way that Bee could catch us all. We were caught quickly enough. We were cuffed and thrown in a car. Now it was just the drive ahead of us. We didn't say anything. We didn't fight, which wasn't normal for us. Instead we scowled until finally we ended up at the Hoover Dam.

"God damn I am not made for this shit!" I complained as I stepped out of the SUV onto the dam. Slate cracked her neck. I did a back bend, sighing as I heard a procession of cracks. I stood back up. Simmons walked over his nose covered with one of those thingies.

I laughed.

"You think this is funny?" he snapped at me.

"Pretty fucking funny asshole."

"You'll be paying my medical bills!" he yelled at me.

Slater and I cracked up laughing.

"I'm rich. Money don't mean shit to me." I reached in my bra and pulled out a wad of cash. I had it hidden just in case there would be a time when I would have to bribe someone. I counted out a grand and put it in Simmons hand. "Now that I've paid you despite the fact I know the government pays your medical bills, I think it's time we get to more pressing issues."

"Like saving our human asses."

Sam and Mikaela walked over.

"Hey, Kid," Simmons greeted him, crossing his arms. "I think we got off to a bad start, huh? You must be hungry. You want a latte? HoHo? Double venti macchiato?"

"Where's my car?" Sam asked.

"Son-" Banachek started. "I need you to listen to me very carefully. People can die here. We need to know everything you know. We need to know it now."

"Okay. But first I'll take my car, my parents. Maybe you should write that down. Oh and her juvie record. That's got to be gone. Like, forever. Plus those two, anything you're going to charge them with don't."

I walked over to Sam and patted him on the shoulder. "Fuckin' right!" Slater and I said.

"Come with me. We'll talk about your car."

"What did you give him negotiation lessons Blondie?"

"Listen fuck face! Blondie isn't her fucking name! It's Slater. Fucking use it, before I break the rest of your face, you prick!"

"Christ, do either of you have any manners?"

I ignored him and followed Sam and Mikaela. Slater said something to Simmons, but I didn't pay attention. Simmons sped up until he was leading the pack. We followed him down into the dam.

Our group merged with the secretary of defense's. I walked up to the soldiers. "Captain Lennox, Sergeant Epps. I'm Blake DeVille."

"How do you know our names?" Epps asked.

"Long story," I said. "How's Fig?" I asked. I was hoping that he didn't die like he was supposed to.

"In the hospital. He's expected to make a full recovery," Lennox answered.

"Thank goodness," I said.

"HEAT MISER!" Simmons hollered for me. "Leave the soldiers alone!"

"Suck my dick!" I yelled at him.

I noticed the Sec Def looking at me. " ." I put my hand out for him to shake. He shook it.

"Firm grip, you're a strong girl."

"Have to be, especially in times like these."

"And you know of what kind of time this is?"

"More so than I should it's a very complicated story. One that I highly doubt you'll believe. Now is not the time for it though. Things are going to get bad and soon."

"RED!"

"Simmons, I am trying to talk with the girl," Keller said.

"Short version?" he asked.

"My friend," I pointed to Slater who was talking to Sam and Mikaela "and I were in a car accident and somehow traveled through dimensions from four years in the future where everything that is happening is a very successful movie. Please don't tell Simmons. I would like to get through this with as little interference from him as possible."

"You know what's going to happen?"

"Yes, but there isn't much I can do, because if I change it then there's no hope for humanity," I explained.

"I see."

"You believe me?" I asked astounded.

"After all I have seen and heard today you could tell me that Pittsburgh Pirates are going to win the World Series and I'd believe you."

I laughed.

I walked over to Slater. "So who does what?" she whispered to me.

"Uh… You go with the bug and Mikaela, I'll try to save Jazz?" I whispered back.

"What about Sam?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"Nothing," we both said sweetly. He was sure something was up now.

"All right here's the situation you've all have had direct contact with the NBE," Simmons spoke catching everyone's, but Slater's and my attention.

"NBEs?" Epps asked.

"Non-biological extra-terrestrials. Try and keep up with the acronyms."

"Or you can call them Cybertronians, since that is what their race is called." I snipped.

"What you're about to see is totally classified." He continued acting as if I hadn't spoken. He led us down this wet, dirty, moldy tunnel. I went to say something, but Slater's hand over my mouth stopped me.

"Don't fucking say it. Any of it," she warned.

I bit her. She smacked me upside the head. I pushed her into the tunnel wall.

"Will you two stop?" Lennox hissed at us.

"Maybe," Slater said.

"But not likely," I added on.

"As I was saying, what you're about to see is totally classified."

"Don't tell my mother," I whispered. Another slap.

We walked into the hangar holding Megatron. I looked up. He was way bigger in person. "Ah fuck." I swore.

"What?" Slater asked. "The fact that they really do have Megatron here like a giant ass popsicle or the fact that you just realized he looks way bigger than you thought?"

"Both," I said.

"Dear God. What is this?" Keller asked.

"Megatron."

"We think when he made his approach over the North Pole, our gravitational field screwed up his telemetry. He crashed in the ice probably a few thousand years ago. We shipped him here to this facility in 1934."

"We call him NBE One," Simmons said.

"Well, sir, I don't mean to correct you on everything you think you know, but I mean, that's Megatron."

Simmons started to get in Sam's face.

Slater walked in front of Sam and pushed Simmons back. "Personal space," she said, moving away. "Use some manners, why don't ya?"

"Here's the leader of the Decepticons," Sam continued.

"He's been in cryostasis since 1935." Banachek looked at Sam. "Your great-great-grandfather made one of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind."

"Every fucking piece of technology we have comes from Megatwat up there. Cars, computers, weapons all of it."

"Haha you're computer shit probably comes from his interface panel!" Slater cackled.

"Fragging pitspwan," I muttered.

"You didn't think the United States military might need to know that you're keeping a hostile alien robot frozen in the basement?"

"Until these events, we had no credible threat to national security."

"Well you got one now." Keller said.

"So why Earth?" Lennox asked.

"It's the All Spark," Sam said.

"It's a giant cube filled with the energy to fuel their home planet," I said. I glared at Simmons and Banachek. "You dicks know where it is, so take us, because time is something we are very short on."

"Follow me," Banachek said.

He led us to the room that looked over the All Spark.

"Holy-"

"Fuck!" I finished for Slater.

We weren't paying attention to Banachek as he explained S7's history with the cube. I saw the cube flash blue with energy.

"Shit! Frenzy!" I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I forgot about that fucker."

"Yo Colors, you two coming?" I was so focused on Frenzy I didn't notice everyone start to leave. We walked to the room, where they funneled the All Spark's energy. We were locked in.

I was getting impatient. My arms were folded across my chest, and my leg was shaking.

"Calm down," Slater said.

"Calm!" I whisper yelled. "Screamer's going to pop generators in like five minutes I cannot be calm."

"You wanted in this."

"That doesn't mean I can't be angry. Damn Doritio is gonna be here and there's no one here to fuck his shit up."

We put on the goggles we were handed and watched as Simmons pressed the button and brought Glen's phone to life.

"It's even cuter in person," I said.

"You think that's cute?" Simmons asked.

"Yes," Slater and I said.

"Simmons you zap it and you're fucked," I threatened.

The way Slater was looking at the thing, it was coming home with her. "Up the ass," Slater tagged on with a steely glare. "With a machete."

"That thing is freaky!" Maggie said. Slater got closer and looked at it. It launched a missile towards where Simmons was standing.

Slater tapped on the box, gaining the little things attention. It stopped shooting and cocked its head to the side. "Hey little guy," Slater talked to it. It put its weapons away and its optics turned blue.

She walked over to eh door and opened it up. She stuck her hand in and it climbed up on it. She pulled the little bot out and rubbed its head.

"Five, four, three-"

"Red what are you doing?" Simmons asked.

The lights flickered. "The Ranch Dorito is here," I said.

"Ranch?" Slater asked.

"Well he's too much of a pussy to be nacho cheese," I stated like it was obvious.

"Gentlemen, they know the Cube is here."

Banachek got on the intercom to try to find out what was going on.

"Megatron's second in command just popped the generators. I suggest we get Bumblebee and to the arms room."

We got to the arms room and everyone started packing. I along with Sam and Simmons bitched at Simmons to let Bee go.

"Just get back to his fucking car!" I snarled.

"I don't know-"

"That's exactly it. You don't know. Bee does."

"Take them to the car," Lennox growled. He grabbed Simmons and pinned him up against a military vehicle. He had his gun right over Simmons heart. All the S7 agents jumped into action, but Lennox's team responded just as quickly and better.

I got to see one of my favorite parts of the movie happen in front of me.

"I'm gonna count to five."

"Well I'm gonna count to three."

I looked at Slater. She was smirking. She had something to do with this.

"Sec Def, Simmons should listen to Lennox right?" I asked.

"I would. Losing's really not an option for these guys." he said.

"All right. Okay. You want to lay the fate of the world on the kid's Camaro. That's cool."

"Laying the fate of the world on one of the best Autobot scouts ever."

They took us to where Bee was being zapped. Once they finally let him go, we tried to calm him down. He waved his blaster around, but after we mentioned the All Spark he focused.

Seeing the All Spark up close, standing beneath it was something I will never forget. The only part of the memory more potent than that was watching it fold in Bee's hands until it was small enough even us humans could carry it.

"Message from starfleet captain… Let's get to it…

"Mega-Aft is thawing out. We have to get the cube the hell out of here. Get it to Mission City. It's what? 22 miles away? We get it there."

"I agree with the girl, but we need the air force," Lennox said.

"Shortwave. Maggie, Glen you can hotwire a computer to send a signal through the radio."

"Bee, we're coming with you," I told him. He nodded.

He handed the cube to Sam and Transformed. Slater and I got in the back with the cube. Sam and Mikaela got in the front. Lennox and his team set up a perimeter around Bee and we were off. We saw the bots on the road on they turned around to join our convoy. It was now or never.


	12. Chapter 12

**Slater's Point of View**

"I love nikes," Blake said.

"Blake?"

"Huh?" She asked, still having a fucking shoegasm.

"Now is not the time."

"Oh my simple simple Slater, even in a time of crisis there is time to appreciate and admire shoes." She stood up and grabbed her shit, I was already waiting at the door by the time she had her shit together. "Let's go." We walked out to the parking lot. Bee was just chilling next to her Bugati. Blake walked up to the driver's side, I hung back while she talked to Bee.

"May we?" I heard her ask.

He unlocked the doors to let us in. Blake and I climbed in, and she introduced us. "I'm Blake. I'm the bitch." She said. "That's Slate. She's the nice one, until you piss her off," she added, pointing to me.

"Blake doesn't need to be pissed off. She dwells in an eternal vat of pissed offness." I stated.

"Anyways my pissed offness is irrelevant. We've got some things to discuss. There's one tiny itty bitty problem though," I heard Blake say. She paused, she was probably having a mental fangasm over the fact that she was actually sitting in Bee. "I can't tell you everything I know," she finally said.

I stopped paying attention and started playing Tetris on my phone, I snapped back to reality when I heard my name.

"What I am about to tell you is going to make me sound insane, because it defies what humans are capable of. Slater and I aren't from here," I heard Blake explaining.

"The bitch doesn't just mean we're not from Tranquility either. We're from a completely different dimension," I said, thinking about how insane it sounded.

"With no clue how the fuck we got here," Blake added.

"Trippy shit. Where we're from is four years in the future, and Cybertronians, transformers are just a toy, comic, TV show, movie, franchise," I explained.

"It was twenty-four yearlong franchise."

"She was a huge fan. It was obnoxious she owned everything. Plus you were one of her favorites although S-" She cut me off.

"ANYWAYS, we know what's supposed to happen the next four years, and I know practically everything about you. You're Bumblebee. You're the youngest of the Autobots. You're a scout. Megatron damaged your vocal processor and ripped off your arms. You're the sole survivor of the attack on the youth sectors. You want nothing more than prove to the others that despite your youth you are a critical part of the team."

He started up his engine and started driving, not bothering to respond. He stopped when he got to a field with no one in sight.

He opened his doors and let us out. I was a bit sketched out at the fact that he was letting us out, and I had no guarantee he wouldn't leave our asses there, but Blake knows all things transformers, and she trusted him, so I didn't voice my concern. We got out, and I followed Blake's lead and took a few steps away from him. He transformed, it was fucking awesome if I say so myself, and knelt down in front of us.

I was torn between being extremely excited, and sketched the fuck out, seeing Bee transform was sick, but Blake and I were putting ourselves into the middle of a war, not so sick.

I looked away from Bee to see Blake staring in compete and total awe. "This is fucking awesome."

"What… can you tell… me?" Bee asked.

"The All-Spark needs to be destroyed," Bee glared at her, it was actually quite frightening, for how adorable he is.

I looked at Blake, "You are shit at explaining things," I pointed out.

She shrugged and went back to looking at Bee.

"Do you even believe that we're not spewing bullshit?" I asked the bot.

"Willing to… believe anything… at this point…"

"Well that's promising" Blake said. He glared at her again, but it's not like it phased her, bitch is about as deep as a puddle, she enjoys being stared at.

"Blake is right," I said. "The All Spark has to be destroyed. It's the only way to end the war. The decepticons can't be completely defeated. Peace will never be restored to Cybertron," I explained, I only knew this shit because Blake never shut up about it.

"But you can find a new home. Here on Earth," she said.

"Optimus will even say that's how it has to end. Now you really only have two options here." Her voice went from semi-bitch to full out hard-ass-get-shit-done mode.

"Here comes the bitch," I said, sighing.

"You can either let us help you and we can save so many more lives or you can just go and continue the way things are going to go naturally. Do you know what that entails?" She asked, before answering herself. "Oh wait you don't, but I do. What I know is that if things continue the way we've seen things Jazz is going to die. You are going to have your legs blown off and the cube is going to be destroyed either fucking way."

Bee revved his engine; I could tell he was getting pissed.

"Bee, I know you're a very kind and sweet mech. You're actually really fucking adorable. Don't try to play hard ass with me, because it's not gonna fucking work. Now I have been interrogated, drugged, in and out of the damn hospital, my house has been searched and all my shit either hasn't been invented yet or I just don't own, so give me a fucking sign here." She scowled at the mech. 'This shit isn't gonna get us anywhere with him,' I thought.

I tried to get her to realize that. "Blake, chill the fuck out," I said, not earning the slightest reaction. "If you keep looking like that then you're going to get wrinkles," I said, knowing that would make her calm her damn tits.

I smirked in satisfaction as I saw her smooth her face out.

"You're rendezvousing with the other bots in an alley tomorrow night," I looked at the bot. "We're not exactly sure where, but we can figure that out on our own, but we're going to be there, whether you accept our help or not. If you don't we're just gonna find another way. We know that the humans survive. We want to make sure as many Autobots survive as possible."

His gaze softened as he looked at the two of us. "Meet us… behind… manufacturing… district… "

I figured I should give him a heads up so I briefly explained how he would have to get Sam, chase his ass, fight Barricade, and how Sam's future girlfriend would end up with them.

"When you fight Barricade, I suggest you kill him. If you don't he'll be a pain in the ass later on," Blake added.

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE?!" Blake screeched.

'Lost,' I thought. I added "Because you have no fucking sense of direction." out loud.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP SLATER! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Blake screamed in irritation.

"Who the fuck can't find a whole damn district?" I asked.

She turned and slapped me upside the head, not an uncommon occurrence, but irritating nonetheless.

"Really Bitch?" I asked anyway.

"I told you to shut the fuck up. It's not my fault that big ass truck has a stupid ass driver tipped in the round about. Who the fuck is that stupid though? Was he going fucking ninety? At least there would've been sign telling us where the fuck to go then." While she was ranting I was looking at buildings and street signs.

"Turn left here," I said, recognizing a building.

The bitch actually fucking listened to me and we ended up on the main road. "New plan," Blake said.

"What?" I asked. Blake wasn't one for changing her plans.

"We walk," she said as she pulled over.

"Did I just here what I think I heard? Blake Renne DeVille is going to walk somewhere," I asked incredulously.

"Suck my dick," she said, getting out of the car and onto the sidewalk. "Okay, where the fuck are we?" she asked me, like I would have the slightest fucking idea.

"I don't fucking know."

"Rhetorical bitch." She rolled her eyes. "Alright let's just fucking walk until we fucking figure something out."

We were only walking for about five minutes before I saw a sign. "Look!" I pointed to the sign.

It was rusty as fuck but I could make out that it said 'Brinker back lot Stay out.' Apparently so could Blake, because she said, "Thank fucking God. It's getting dark and they're gonna land soon," as we made our way over to it. It was more of an alley than a lot, but that's irrelevant. We wondered down it looking for the meeting place. We knew we found it when we saw the beat up car Jazz used as a chair in the movie. I saw Blake look around with a disgusted look on her face. "This is fucking gross. They couldn't have picked a damn field or something."

"Will you quit your fucking bitching?!"

"Listen I'm not some art kid, who fucking dives in dumpsters and digs around in junk yards for inspiration."

"I don't dumpster dive, and I at least I don't spend my days elbow deep in fucking computer parts."

"Computer parts not as disgusting as trash."

"Toxic." I dragged out the word to make my point.

"Details." She waved me off.

I saw headlights, and heard the sound of an engine approaching. Bee pulled up and Sam and Mikaela got out. Mikaela looked confused and Sam looked like he was about to shit himself.

"You!" Sam pointed at me. 'I have a name,' I thought. He kept yelling. He was throwing a fucking bitch fit. "You're the girl that bought my car! What the hell is all this?" he asked me. Before I could answer, he added on, "And who are you?!" and pointed to Blake.

"Sam, Sam, SAM!" I was trying to get his attention, but he was pacing and talking to himself, so I screamed louder. "SAMANTHA!"

"What?!" He finally stopped freaking out and looked at me,

"Will you calm your ass down and fucking listen for five minutes?" I asked. He nodded.

"I'm Slater, her, over there with the red hair," I pointed in Blake's general direction, "That's Blake. We're from another dimension, four years in the future. I know it sounds crazy, I'm not even sure how the fuck it happened yet, but it happened." He looked like he was about to call an asylum and have me committed.

"You're crazy," he said, confirming my suspicions. "You-you mean to tell me that you're from the future and you just randomly came back to buy me a car?"

"No, fuckface. We were in a car accident after going to see a movie, a movie about these giant alien robots, and we woke up here, where it's not a movie. It's real life. In order to make sure that you got Bee and the events that happened in the movie that saved humankind, I bought you the car," I explained.

"You expect me to believe that?" he asked.

"Look bitch, I'm fucking telling the truth. You don't believe me? Too fucking bad. Now I see the others' headlights, I'm going over there. When you decide to stop being a prick and fucking listen to me, let me know," I said, before walking over and standing by Blake. The other bots were already there.

Optimus began to transform. My jaw dropped. "Oh. My. God." I heard Blake exhale. The others began to transform as well. I bumped Blake's arm to get her attention. She looked at me; we both wore the same facial expression.

"Holy fuck," she whispered.

Optimus knelt down and looked between all of us humans, his eyes finally settling on Sam. "Are you Samuel James Witicky decedent of Archibald Witwicky?" he asked.

"They know your name," Mikaela said in amazement.

"Yes," Sam answered.

"And we know theirs," Blake said, regaining composure for a moment and addressing the Prime. "You are Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots." She turned toward the one I thought was the medic. "Ratchet, the best CMO Cybertron has to offer," she said to him, confirming my thoughts.

He looked proud of himself; he sniffed the air, just like in the movie. "The boy's pheromone levels suggest he wants to mate with the females."

It was just as funny as it was in the movie, I starting laughing. Sam and Makaela looked so awkward.

Blake was still saying who was who. "Ironhide, Prime's oldest friend, and weapon specialist. On your left you have an energy rocket launcher and on the right is a plasma rocket blaster," she said.

He twirled the weapons she pointed out and aimed them at us. "You feeling lucky, punk?"

"Easy Ironhide," Optimus warned.

"It's cool Hard Ass, just wants to show off his cannons." Another voice interjected- Jazz, I recognized the accent.

"Then there's Jazz. He's a saboteur and second in command," Blake said, 'Right again,' I thought.

"What's crackin' little bitches? This looks like a cool place ta kick it," he said. I tried not to laugh.

"Nope," Blake said.

"Not really," I backed her statement, and added, "Vegas is a cool place though."

"And New York," she tagged on.

"Pittsburgh."

"Vancouver, but that's not important. Last, but certainly not least is Bumblebee. Bee is a scout and his vocal processors were damaged in battle so he can't talk. Ratchet is still working on them," she said, wrapping up our "Cool place to kick it" list, and the identities of the present Autobots.

Bee started his little jig, but was stopped when Ratchet fired a regenerative laser at his vocal processor, causing the young scout to cough.

"How did Jazz learn to talk like that and how do you know all of this?" Sam asked Blake and I.

"We learned Earth's languages through the world wide web." Optimus answered the first question. "As for the second question, I would like to know the answer to that myself."

"What're your designations shorties?" Jazz asked.

"I'm Blake DeVille."

"And I'm Slater Hunt, and we traveled from a different dimension four years in the future where you guys aren't real, but are instead the center of a very popular franchise," I said, explaining who were and where the Hell we came from.

"Which is why I know so much about you, because Transformers, which was the name of the franchise was pretty much my entire childhood. You're here for the All-Spark, which is the life source of your planet, Cyberton. There's a war going on between you Autobots and the Decepticons led by Megatwat, the biggest fucking asshole to ever exist. I hope he fucking rusts in pit, where he belongs," Blake added, effectively confusing the fuck out of Sam.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is she talking about?" Sam asked.

Optimus projected the holograph of Cybertron in its final days before they left. "Our planet was once a powerful empire, peaceful and just, until we were betrayed by Megatron..."

"Cunt," I muttered.

"Twat," I heard Blake do the same.

"Leader of the Decepticons. All who defied them were destroyed. Our war finally consumed the planet and the All Spark was lost to the stars. Megatron followed it to Earth, where Captain Witwicky found him."

"My grandfather," Sam said.

"It was an accident that intertwined our fates."

We watched as Optimus showed Sam's grandfather run into Megadouche.

"Megatron crash landed before he could retrieve the cube. He accidently activated his navigation system. The coordinates to the Cube's location on Earth were imprinted on his glasses."

"How'd you know about his glasses?" Sam asked.

"eBay."

"eBay," Sam repeated.

"Yep, eBay," Blake said.

I couldn't help but add in, "Sure thing ladiesman217." Sam glared at Blake and I, while we laughed.

The medic spoke and our laughing stopped. "If the Decepticons find the All Spark, they will use its power to transform Earth's machines and build a new army."

"And the human race will be extinguished," Optimus continued.

"There's not a chance in hell of that happening. I didn't get this ugly ass scar for no fucking reason." Blake interjected.

"The glasses are in the kitchen. Sam, remember that because if you don't your mom is going to have this awkward moment with you where she talks about you jacking off," I said, trying to be serious.

"Yeah, Sam's special alone time," Blake added, not trying to contain her smile.

"I don't like you two. I don't care if the yellow one-"

"Slater, fuck face remember it," I snapped.

"Bought my car," he continued. "You're both bitches."

"Why thank you, but I'm not just a bitch. I am the bitch," Blake sneered. She turned to Optimus and I walked away to go talk to Jazz.

"Hey," I greeted him.

"S'up girl?" he asked, I was going to be a smart ass, and say I was waiting for order from Optimus, but before I could Optimus told the autobots to roll out. "You wanna ride wit da Jazz-Man?" Jazz asked me, smirking.

I looked over and asked Blake if she was alright. "I'm good," she replied.

I turned to Jazz, "Sure," I said. He transformed and opened up his door for me, I got in. Optimus did the same for Blake.

"Thanks Jazz," I said.

"Ain't nothin' lil lady," he said. I couldn't help but giggle at his accent, he sounded like a stereotypical hood rat.

"What you laughin' at, Chalkboard?"

"Nothing…" I said in a voice that made me sound way to innocent. "And who the fuck is Chalkboard?" I added with a confused look on my face.

"Uh huh, sure you wasn't laughin' at nothin'. And you Chalkboard. That's yo new name," he stated that last bit matter-of-factly, like it's been my nickname all my life.

"Oh really?" I asked. "And why am I now a classroom tool?"

"Yo red-headed girl called you 'Slate'. I looked it up, chalkboards is slates. You look like some lil' kid done gone and drawn all up yo ass too, so you Chalkboard now," he explained.

"I guess I can live with that. But get this shit straight," I started. "These "drawings" were expensive as hell-" 'To any normal person,' I added in my head, "mostly designed by me, and done by professional tattoo artists. Say I "look like some lil' kids done gone and drawn all up on my ass" again, and I'm gonna get some little kids to go draw all up on yours," I said with a smile on my face, but a slight serious tone in my voice. I don't fuck around about my tattoos, or my artwork, at all.

"Whoa whoa whoa, calm down, ain't no reason ta get all serious," he said, laughing.

"Ain't no reason ta get all serious," I mocked him.

"I hope yo ass ain't mockin' me," he said, I could tell he was trying not to laugh.

"Oooh look at me I'm Jazz, I hope yo ass ain't mockin' me. Meeeh I'm Jazz, look at me, I'm all bad ass and whatnot because I'm Jazz. Oooh I'm Jazz and you better not be mocking me!" I said, waving my hands around and making a dumb face.

He laughed. "I like you, Chalkboard. We gon' be cool."

"I'm already cool, I don't know about you," I said, smirking.

"Bitch I'm da meanin' of cool," he said.

"Uhh huh, sure you are, whatever helps you 'sleep' at night," I said.

"I'm 'bout ta make yo ass go to sleep!" he said through laughter.

I rolled my eyes. We spent the rest of the ride to Sam's house in comfortable silence. I liked Jazz, he was pretty cool.

We finally pulled into the alley behind Sam's house, and I noticed that there were fucking SUVs everywhere, the S7 ass hats were already there. I sighed and leaned back, waiting to be told what to do.

Blake and I were just standing around, waiting for Simmons and his crew of ass fucks to show up, she was braiding her hair, and I was picking my split ends. I stopped when I saw their headlights.

One of the shitfucks almost ran us over, but he slammed on the brakes just in time, we just stood there, glaring at him.

Simmons got out of the car flanked by the douche who was driving. "Blondie and Heat Miser, I knew you were involved in this." He got in our faces, this wasn't gonna end well for him.

"Simmons, you've read my file. You know my family and what's happened. You know what happens when something like that happens?" Blake asked him, I noticed her hand was balled up in her pocket, someone was about to have their lights turned off.

"No, what happens Red?"

"You get a little paranoid. You get taught things."

"Well you have time to teach yourself things, when you're in prison for treason."

"Or assault," she said, launching her fist at his nose. The crunch of the bone was loud as fuck. She grabbed Simmons' cuffs and cuffed his hands behind his back, I did the same to his little lackey douche, ignoring the fact that his crew had their weapons aimed at us.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING SHOOT THEM?!" Simmons was screaming.

"Shooting the children would be a grave mistake," I heard Optimus say from behind us. The bots came over, and Jazz stripped them of their weapons.

"You get taught how to defend yourself. You know what happened. Basic self-defense wouldn't have helped me, but this would." Blake said as she pulled Simmons up to his knees, just to push him back down to his face. I had my foot planted on the lackey's lower back as I grabbed the key to Sam and Mikaela's cuffs from his pocket.

We left them laying on the ground and went and got Sam and Mikaela out of the SUV. I used the key to free them.

We let Sam and Mikaela ask their questions and handcuff all of the agents to a pole. I almost puked when Mikaela made Simmons strip; it was bad enough seeing that shit in a movie. Ew.

"We need to alert everyone," I heard Simmons say.

"Slate?" Blake asked.

"Yeah?"

"You know the plan?"

"Yeah," I said. I knew the plan, but that doesn't mean I had to be happy about it.

"It's go time," she said.

The other SUVs and helicopters started to arrive and Ironhide shot the ground. The bots transformed and took off. Optimus picked up Sam and Mikaela and ran. Blake and I ran, not really trying to get any specific place, we knew who we had to go with, but we didn't exactly know how to go about it. We just kept on pretending to try to escape. We were caught relatively quickly, cuffed, and thrown in a car. We didn't resist, at all. That's not normal, and you best believe that it was fucking difficult. We sat in angry silence until we got to the Hoover Dam.

"God damn I am not made for this shit!" Blake complained as she got out of the car. I cracked my neck and she cracked her back. Our bones stopped making crunching noises as Simmons walked up to us, his nose was all taped up and whatnot, Blake cracked up.

"You think this is funny?" he snapped at her.

"Pretty fucking funny, asshole," she snapped right back.

"You'll be paying my medical bills!" He was yelling like she gave a fuck. Bitch carries like three grand in her bra at all times. We both laughed at him.

"I'm rich. Money don't mean shit to me." Blake said, reaching in her bra and pulling out a wad of cash. She counted some out and slapped it into Simmons' hand. "Now that I've paid you despite the fact I know the government pays your medical bills, I think it's time we get to more pressing issues."

"Like saving our human asses."

Sam and Mikaela walked over.

"Hey kid," Simmons said to Sam, trying to seem like a good guy. "I think we got off to a bad start, huh? You must be hungry. You want a latte? HoHo? Double venti macchiato?"

"Where's my car?" Sam asked, getting straight to the point.

"Son-" Banachek started. "I need you to listen to me very carefully. People can die here. We need to know everything you know. We need to know it now."

"Okay. But first I'll take my car, my parents. Maybe you should write that down. Oh and her juvie record. That's got to be gone. Like, forever. Plus those two, anything you're going to charge them with don't."

I smiled and Blake went over and patted his shoulder. "Fuckin' right!" We said at the same time.

"Come with me. We'll talk about your car."

"What did you give him negotiation lessons Blondie?"

"Listen fuck face! Blondie isn't her fucking name! It's Slater. Fucking use it, before I break the rest of your face, you prick!" Blake threatened him for me, but I planned on threatening him myself as soon as I could.

"Christ, do either of you have any manners?" Simmons asked. Blake was already by Sam and Mikaela. I smiled to myself, Simmons was by me and I was behind everyone else. I looked at him, "Learn my name Simmons. If you don't, I promise that your next partner, and I don't mean person you work with, will be a katana. Y'know, one of those big ass curved swords. And I promise; you won't like where I shove it," I said, smirking as he sped up until he was leading the pack. We followed him down into the dam.

Our group merged with the secretary of defense's. Blake walked up to the soldiers. "Captain Lennox, Sergeant Epps. I'm Blake DeVille." She introduced herself, and them.

I went over to talk to Sam and Mikaela. We were just talking about the bots and what a dick Simmons is.

Blake walked over to me. "So who does what?" I whispered to her.

"Uh… You go with the bug and Mikaela, I'll try to save Jazz?" she whispered back.

"What about Sam?" I asked.

"Huh?" he spoke up.

"Nothing," we both said sweetly. He raised an eyebrow.

"All right here's the situation you've all have had direct contact with the NBEs," I heard Simmons say, Blake and I had heard this a billion times from the movie, so we didn't react with as much interest as everyone else.

"NBEs?" Epps asked.

"Non-biological extra-terrestrials. Try and keep up with the acronyms."

"Or you can call them Cybertronians, since that is what their race is called," Blake snipped.

"What you're about to see is totally classified." He continued acting as if she hadn't spoken. He led us down this wet, dirty, moldy tunnel. Blake opened her mouth, most likely to bitch about how gross it was, so I slapped a hand over her moth to keep her quiet.

"Don't fucking say it. Any of it." She snarled at me.

She fucking bit me, I smacked her up the head, and she pushed me into the wall of the tunnel.

"Will you two stop?" Lennox hissed at us.

"Maybe." I said, glaring at my best friend.

"But not likely." She added on.

"As I was saying, what you're about to see is totally classified."

"Don't tell my mother," Blake whispered, I smacked her again.

We walked into the hangar holding Megatron. Blake looked up at him, he was fucking huge. "Ah fuck." She swore.

"What?" I asked. "The fact that they really do have Megatron here like a giant ass popsicle or the fact that you just realized he looks way bigger than you thought?" I asked, guessing her thought process.

"Both," she said.

"Dear God. What is this?" Keller asked.

"Megatron," She replied.

"We think when he made his approach over the North Pole, our gravitational field screwed up his telemetry. He crashed in the ice probably a few thousand years ago. We shipped him here to this facility in 1934."

"We call him NBE One," Simmons said.

"Well, sir, I don't mean to correct you on everything you think you know, but I mean, that's Megatron." Simmons started to get in Sam's face.

I stepped inbetween the two and shoved Simmons back. "Personal space," I said as I moved away. "Use some manners, why don't ya?" I suggested.

"Here's the leader of the Decepticons," Sam continued.

"He's been in cryostasis since 1935." Banachek looked at Sam. "Your great-great-grandfather made one of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind."

"Every fucking piece of technology we have comes from Megatwat up there. Cars, computers, weapons all of it," Blake said.

"Haha your computer shit probably comes from his interface panel!" I cackled.

"Fragging pitspwan," she muttered.

"You didn't think the United States military might need to know that you're keeping a hostile alien robot frozen in the basement?"

"Until these events, we had no credible threat to national security."

"Well you got one now," Keller said.

"So why Earth?" Lennox asked.

"It's the All Spark," Sam said.

"It's a giant cube filled with the energy to fuel their home planet," Blake said. I glared at Simmons and Banachek. "You dicks know where it is, so take us, because time is something we are very short on."

"Follow me," Banachek said.

He led us to the room that looked over the All Spark.

"Holy-" I started.

"Fuck!" Bake finished for me.

We ignored Banachek as he explained S7's history with the cube. The cube flashed.

"Shit! Frenzy!" Blake said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I forgot about that fucker."

"Yo Colors, you two coming?" We walked to the room, where they funneled the All Spark's energy. We were locked in.

Blake was getting nervous or impatient, she was shaking.

"Calm down," I said.

"Calm!" She whisper-yelled. "Screamers going to pop generators in like five minutes I cannot be calm."

"You wanted in this," I reminded her.

"That doesn't mean I can't be angry. Damn Doritio is gonna be here and there's no one here to fuck his shit up."

Of course she was more concerned about not being able to watch him get injured, rather than the actual issue he presented.

We were handed goggles, we put them on and watched as Simmons pressed the button and brought Glen's phone to life.

"It's even cuter in person," Blake said.

"You think that's cute?" Simmons asked.

"Yes," we both said at the same time. I was looking at it like it was a kitten, I wanted it, and there was no way in Hell I was letting him offline it.

"Simmons you zap it and you're fucked," Blake warned.

"Up the ass. With a machete," I added.

"That thing is freaky!" Maggie said. I walked up to the glass and looked at it, smiling. It launched a missile towards where Simmons was standing.

I tapped on the glass and got its attention. It stopped shooting and looked at me, cocking its head to the side. "Hey little guy,," I said to the little mech. It put its weapons away and its optics turned blue.

I walked around to the side the door was on, opened it and put my hand in the box, it climbed up on me. I pulled my arm out and started petting the little guy's head. He was fucking adorable.

"Five, four, three-" I heard Blake counting down.

"Red what are you doing?" Simmons asked.

The lights flickered. "The Ranch Dorito is here," she said.

"Ranch?" I asked her, still petting the little bot.

"Well he's too much of a pussy to be nacho cheese," she said as if I should have known that already.

"Gentlemen, they know the Cube is here."

Banachek got on the intercom to try to find out what was going on.

"Megatron's second in command just popped the generators. I suggest we get Bumblebee and to the arms room."

We got to the arms room and everyone started packing. Blake, Sam and I all bitched at Simmons to let Bee go.

"Just get back to his fucking car!" Blake snarled.

"I don't know-"

"That's exactly it. You don't know. Bee does."

"Take them to the car," Lennox growled. He grabbed Simmons and pinned him up against a military vehicle. He had his gun right over Simmons heart. All the S7 agents jumped into action, but Lennox's team responded just as quickly and better.

I smirked, Blake had to be fangirling so hard internally.

"I'm gonna count to five."

"Well I'm gonna count to three."

"Sec Def, Simmons should listen to Lennox, right?" Blake asked.

"I would. Losing's really not an option for these guys," he said.

"All right. Okay. You want to lay the fate of the world on the kid's Camaro. That's cool."

"Laying the fate of the world on one of the best Autobot scouts ever," Blake snipped. She's defensive of Bee like he's her kid.

They took us to where Bee was being zapped. Once they finally let him go, we tried to calm him down. He waved his blaster around, but after we mentioned the All Spark he focused.

"Message from starfleet captain… Let's get to it…"

"Mega-Aft is thawing out. We have to get the cube the hell out of here. Get it to Mission City. It's what? 22 miles away? We get it there," Blake said.

"I agree with the girl, but we need the air force," Lennox said.

"Shortwave. Maggie, Glen you can hotwire a computer to send a signal through the radio."

"Bee, we're coming with you," Blake told him. He nodded.

He handed the cube to Sam and Transformed. Blake and I got in the back with the cube. Sam and Mikaela got in the front. Lennox and his team set up a perimeter around Bee and we were off. We saw the bots on the road on they turned around to join our convoy. It was now or never.


	13. Chapter 13

**Blake's Point of View**

My head was throbbing, my muscles ached, and I was lying in a very uncomfortable position. It was dark, black actually. "Blake Deville," I heard my name.

"Where the hell am I?" I asked. "Shit! Am I dead? Slater is going to flip out. Crap! My parents! They already lost one."

"Hush child," the voice said. It wasn't mocking and it wasn't harsh. It was warm and held a hint of amusement.

Out of the darkness two bright blue lights appeared in front of me. "Those look like… Optics!"

"Where am I?" I asked again.

"The where is unimportant, and you aren't dead, just passed out. I am here to ask a favor of you youngling."

"Primus?" I asked.

There was a chuckle. "Yes, that is what you know me as."

"I can't believe this," I said.

"Blake, child, will you wield the power of the All Spark?"

My eyes nearly popped out of my head, and I'm pretty sure my jaw hit the ground. "You want me to become the new All Spark?" I asked.

"You have proven yourself a leader and care very deeply for my decedents."

"They're some of the best beings I have ever met."

"They're not perfect."

"No one is," I responded.

"Wise words, which only proves me right in my choice. So Blake, are you willing?"

I really didn't have to think about it. I mean Primus was asking me to be the All Spark. Primus. "I'll do it."

"I am glad. For that, I will present you with a gift. It will come to you once you and your friends settle into your new home."

"Thank you."

"It is nothing my child. Now go. Your friends are worried."

I opened my eyes and everything was fuzzy. It took a moment for them to focus, but when they did, I was staring up into the eyes and optics of many concerned bots and people.

Most notably a set of slate grey eyes were narrowed dangerously at me although I could see the relief in them.

"She appears to have no serious injuries. I'll have to perform a concussion test and such, but I believe that we should wait until we are in a more suitable place," Ratchet said. "Plus I have found a signature coming from her that I would really like to investigate."

"What the fuck happened?" I asked, slowly picking myself up.

"I don't know. All I know is you made sure Jazz didn't get ripped in half, then Sam was being a pussy so you ran with him to the building."

"I did?"

"Yeah, and Megatron followed us."

"Shit. He knocked us off that building, didn't he?"

"Yeah, but you were still awake. Then Optimus caught us. He told me to shove the cube into his chest if he couldn't defeat Megatron. I didn't though. I didn't have the chance. As soon as you had an opportunity, you ran and shoved the cube into Megatron's chest."

"Holy hell," I mumbled. I stood up. "Well this jacket's ruined," I said.

"ONLY YOU WOULD BE CONCERNED WITH YOUR CLOTHES RIGHT NOW! YOUR ASS ALMOST GOT FUCKING KILLED AND YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT A JACKET YOU COULD BUY A MILLION OF!" Slater screamed at me.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I snapped at her. "I feel like a fucking mess, now leave me the hell alone!" My head was throbbing and I felt like there was something I was forgetting. I tried to remember, but it made the throbbing worse.

"Thank you." A voice whispered in my head. That's when it all came back to me.

"Ratchet?"

"Yes?"

"What kind of signature?" I asked.

"Well I can't be positive, but…"

"What kind of signature?" I repeated again, my voice firmer with irritation.

"You have the All Spark's signature, very faintly, but it's there," he said.

"Whoa."

"Do you know something about this?" Ratchet asked me.

"Optimus, a word please?" I asked.

The other's watched me carefully. "Damn, I know that even though I'm a mess I'm still beautiful, but didn't you mama ever tell you it ain't nice to stare," I said. Optimus shook his head and transformed before rolling out of hearing distance.

"What is it Blake?"

"I saw Primus."

"You what?" The shock was evident in his voice.

"I know. I know, but I saw him, well his optics anyways. He asked me to wield the power of the All Spark."

"Why?"

"I don't know, but he did."

"And you said yes?"

"Uh huh."

"Are you sure about this?" he asked me.

"I'm not sure about anything anymore, but hell if it can help you guys out it's worth it. Plus how can I say no to Primus!"

"If it is your choice, then I along with the others will honor it, but you will probably have to stay with us for a while, until we have assessed your safety and Ratchet has given you a clean bill of health."

"Cool with me."

"We should return to the others. There is a lot of work to be done."

"You'll form a group to protect earth from any Decepticons. It's called N.E.S.T. Lennox will pretty much be its human leader and you'll get an asshole of a liaison, but I'll deal with his ass. Oh and you'll relocate to Diego Garcia."

"Seems like we have a lot to look forward too."

"Yeah, we do."


	14. Chapter 14

Hello, readers, so if you enjoyed this hot mess, I've got another. This actually already has two sequels. One of which is finished and I just recently transferred over here to FanFic and one that is incomplete, but will also be on here soon. The immediate sequel to this one is called _We're Slightly Less Screwed_ , and it's sequel is called _Nope,_ so be on the look out for those.

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 **Review Replies:**

 **Don't judge me I'm a Fangirl:** _HA HA HA HA HA I love Blake, she's hilariouse, I really hope you do a sequel this was so FUNNY :)_

 _Megatwat omfg that's the best insult ever, I can see it now, somebody going up to a principle "your a megatwag" IM DEAD! LOL :)_

I'm glad you find this funny. Nikki (my cowriter on this who is not on ) and myself thought we were purely entertaining ourselves with this fic. A lot of people don't get that it's not supposed to be taken seriously and get really pissed at us.


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